The W(h)ine Hour..

Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.

So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!


Friday, February 25, 2011

The W(h)ine Hour...They Whine and I Wine: Friday, February 25th...Never a dull moment!

The W(h)ine Hour...They Whine and I Wine: Friday, February 25th...Never a dull moment!: "Tomorrow morning the hubby and I are leaving on a jet plane for a few days! :) We are heading to the mountains for cozy fires, yummy d..."

Friday, February 25th...Never a dull moment!

Tomorrow morning the hubby and I are leaving on a jet plane for a few days! :)  We are heading to the mountains for cozy fires, yummy dinners and a little skiing.  I realized this afternoon that I probably didn't have enough food in the house to feed this mob for the 3 days we will be gone, so I decided to make a quick run to the store.  When you are lucky enough to have grandparents that will keep these three, you don't want to leave them with an empty pantry...that would just be mean. ;)  The two youngest had some money saved up that was burning a whole in their pocket and wanted to tag along.  I'm a little hesitant about this because shopping with the little one is enough to make me want to put hot sticks in my eyes, and I'm already in a bit of a hurry.  The big one says he doesn't mind going with us to help, so off we got to the local superstore.  It's called a "superstore" not because it is super, but because it is enormous!  It's a mile wide or something crazy like that, and has everything from bananas to toilet paper, both of which I need. ;) As we are walking in, I stop all three of them to issue the following statement, "I am going to the food, you three STAY TOGETHER, shop for one at a time and then text me when you are done."  As they are walking off I add, "Hey, big kid...don't loose the little one, ok?"  I get the appropriate amount of teenage eye roll in return and a quick, "Got it mom."

Instead of going straight to the food I run to the other side of the store real quick for new toothbrushes for everyone.  I caught the little dog walking around with someone's in her mouth this morning, and I'm not taking any chances on how many she has been playing with.  Blech!  Once I was able to wade thru the one thousand choices of toothbrushes and pick 5 that looked good, I was headed to the food with a quick stop by the electronics.  I am pretty much hauling thru the store because I know it is only a matter of time before there is an announcement made, something to the effect of, will the mom of 3 little hoodlums please come to the front of the store. ;) As I pass the toys I catch a familiar figure out of the corner of my eye.  Screeeeeech, brakes on!  "Oh, hey little one, where are your brothers?"  He, being the I don't need anyone taking care of me kind of kid, says very nonchalantly, "I have no idea, they didn't tell me where they were going." He's not the least bit upset by this, his only concern at the moment is which nerf basketball goal looks the best.  I'm not sharing his opinion of the situation, at all.  I whip my phone right out and text the big kid, "do you know where the little one is?"  Within 10 seconds he and the middle round a corner looking the perfect picture of innocence.  All I have to say is, "dude....really?"  The big one comes right back with, "Mom, it's fine, the little one is right here.  He wasn't lost, WE knew right where WE were the whole time."  Huh?  His teenage logic astounds me.  Sometimes I swear he is, oh I don't know, the opposite of Einstein?  He hasn't always been this dingy, and I have been assured by many that after a few years his brain will kick back in.  By then the middle will be a full teenager and have gone brain dead, oh dear Lord in heaven.   I eventually make it out of the store with 3 kids and about $200 more food than necessary.  I've given up on mom of the year, I'd settle for mom of the day...maybe another day. ;)

The wine for the day is a pinot grigio called Mommy's Time Out! The reason is obvious. ;)
The next few days I'll have plenty of time to "research" wines for the blog as my idea of a good day of skiing is from about 10:30 to 11:45. ;)  I'll report back on all the yummy things I find!

Happy Friday!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

The W(h)ine Hour...They Whine and I Wine: Thursday, February 24th...My life is a sit com ;)

The W(h)ine Hour...They Whine and I Wine: Thursday, February 24th...My life is a sit com ;): "This title will probably pop up frequently, and for good reason. This household of males that I live in often seem to be reading stuff..."

Thursday, February 24th...My life is a sit com ;)

This title will probably pop up frequently, and for good reason.  This household of males that I live in often seem to be reading stuff right from a script.  I'm not even sure if you could script some of this!  It's like a continuous improv night right here in my living room.  Or, as it was my car.

A close friend of mine welcomed a new nephew into her family yesterday.  Sooo very exciting, her sister had her first baby!  The boys all know Sissy, so i was telling them about her new baby boy in the car.  We are discussing his weight and what hospital they were in, basically all the fun new baby 411, when the little ones says, "Where do babies come from?"  Yikes, I was not expecting that.  I was just b-bopping along in my car talking sweet new baby stuff...I think you call that a sucker punch. ;)  Just to preface, I have always been very honest with my boys.  It is my very public policy that I will tell you the truth, but if I deem the whole truth to be too much for the maturity level I'm talking to, I will share only what I think you can handle.  I am very open about this, always have been.  They know that they can ask me anything, and believe me, some of the questions they have asked have made me blush to the very roots of my hair, whatever color they may be ;)  As I'm thinking thru the age appropriate response to the 8 yr old, the big one blurts out, "They come out the...."V" word." Except he said it all out, in it's full glory.  A word I would have never said in front of my mother.  The fact that he is completely comfortable yielding that particular anatomically correct phrasing floors me.  I'm also slightly impressed because he doesn't look the least bit embarrassed or uncomfortable.  After I pulled my car back up off the shoulder of the road, I give him the "the look".   Does he even realize what he has just done?  That is against company policy!  That is too much information for the maturity level of the one you are speaking to!  Thankfully, the occupants of the back seat didn't here him correctly, and the little one says, "from where?"  At this point, I am sure he has understood the meaning of "the look" and will rephrase his answer to something a tad more suitable to the situation.  Nope.  He blurts it out again.  Seriously buddy, you are killing me here.   They didn't understand him again so the middle starts saying words close to it trying to figure out what is being said and the little one is saying, "what'd he say? what was that?"  Like a little old man at the nursing home Thursday night bridge game.  Actually, no one could hear anything that anyone was saying because I was yelling at the top of my lungs in a nervous sing songie kind of voice, "What is happening?  What is going on?  Who said that?  Who said what?  Whose on third?  What's on first?"  It's always a good idea to throw out a little three stooges when trying to distract the three stooges! ;)  All the hubub finally dies down and in the silence the middle says, "Virgina?"  The little follows right up with, "Virginia?  You get babies in Virgina?  Isn't that a long way from here?"  Everyone but him knows that isn't the truth and every single one of us says..."Yep, that's right, Virginia."  So much for always being up front and telling everyone the truth.  I feel a new policy coming on....protect the innocence of the youngest as much as humanly possible. That is my new mission!

The wine of the day is Marilyn Merlot and the Naked Grape.  I'm feeling a little sassy...that's just the kind of day this has been. ;)  While sipping this delightful wine I highly recommend viewing Gentleman Prefer Blonds starring none other than the fabulous Miss Monroe!  Because diamonds really are a girls best friend, followed closely by a muzzle in size teenager. ;)

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The W(h)ine Hour...They Whine and I Wine: Wednesday, February 23rd....Homework, I like it ev...

The W(h)ine Hour...They Whine and I Wine: Wednesday, February 23rd....Homework, I like it ev...: "The w(h)ine hour used to consist of play time, dinner, bath, story and bedtime. Now that the boys are a little older things have switc..."

Wednesday, February 23rd....Homework, I like it even less the 2nd time around!

The w(h)ine hour used to consist of play time, dinner, bath, story and bedtime.  Now that the boys are a little older things have switched up just a bit.  The majority of the w(h)ine hour every evening is dominated by the very ugly task of home work.  I've got to say, I'm not a fan.  I'm really not interested in homeschooling these three.  For one thing, I can't do any of their math, not even the little one who is only in 2nd grade.  I'd like to say this is embarrassing, but I honestly don't care.  There are calculators and computers in the world for a reason, and I can work those just fine! I can't figure out why they are in school for 7 hours a day and can't get it all done?  Maybe it is to make sure the parents are taking a vested interest in our children's education.  Maybe it is to encourage parents to spend some quality time with our kids.  Don't get me wrong, I love to spend quality time with my boys.  I love to play catch with them, play games, read books together and cuddle up for a good family movie.  But there's nothing too quality about homework time at our house.  It's actually quite frustrating most evenings for all 5 of us, and tonight was no different.

I have the little one pull out his homework folder, which is a Paul Frank design with a skull and crossbones on it.  Awesome. ;)  He checks it out and tells me he only has to do one math sheet and that spelling worksheet he brought home on Monday.  He starts looking around the kitchen for the spelling and suddenly says, "I don't see it anywhere."  Uh-oh.  I kind of got in a cleaning frenzy today to un-do the damage from an apparent F-5 tornado that came thru yesterday, and I might have gotten a little over zealous.  I start looking around for it too, all innocence, adding, "well you really should keep up with your own papers." He's not falling for that for one second.  He immediately deduces that I have thrown his homework away and says, "You threw it away didn't you?  Great, I'm gonna get a bad grade now, cuz you threw my homework in the trash."  I really do feel bad about it so I tell him I will e-mail his teacher and let her know that I "misplaced" the homework and see if she will send another one home with him.  I will take the blame on this one buddy."  He's totally fine with this, "yep, your on your own mom, I'm not goin down with you, nope, she's already mad at me cuz I broke the lead off all my pencils so I could get up and go sharpen them again."  Grrreat, can't wait for email exchange coming my way. ;)

The big one asked me tonight, "Can you come help me with my Spanish?"  Ummm, no...sorry buddy, I really can't.  He replies, "I thought you were good at English."  What?  I'm pretty sure the look on my face was as dumb as that statement.  The hubby chimes in with, "tu nombre es assweepe."  The big one looks confused for a second and then says, "did you just say my name is a*# wipe?"  Hubby replies, "See there buddy, you know Spanish just fine, now get in there and do your homework!" :))

Thankfully, the middle didn't have any homework tonight. ;)

The wine of the day is Yellow Tail Chardonnay.  It's Australian, which is a heck of a lot easier to learn than Spanish!  G'day mate!

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The W(h)ine Hour...They Whine and I Wine: Tuesday, February 22nd....It's ok to look back, ju...

The W(h)ine Hour...They Whine and I Wine: Tuesday, February 22nd....It's ok to look back, ju...: "It's so easy in life to look back at things that have transpired. Major events, special moments, the good, the bad & the ugly so t..."

Tuesday, February 22nd....It's ok to look back, just don't stare.

It's so easy in life to look back at things that have transpired.  Major events, special moments, the good, the bad & the ugly so to speak.  All kinds of things can trigger past memories to surface, a song on the radio, a scent, or a photo.  Sometimes, you get propelled backwards in time just as you are about to move forward to a new stage.  That happened to me tonight.  The oldest is finishing up the 8th grade and will be going to high school next year.  This evening was orientation at the high school he will attend.  As I sat there listening (or not really listening, as I think I zoned out after the cheerleaders left the stage) I was struck hard by the fact that I have a child old enough to go to high school.  Switch flipped...and the memories started flooding in.   It doesn't help that he will be attending the same high school that his dad and I both went to.  I could have let the memories go way back to when his dad and I met at a party, classes we took together, friends that were made, memories that are still as real as if they were yesterday.  I put a quick stop to those big hair memories, and instead let myself, just for a moment, think back over the last 14 1/2 years.  I thought back to when he was born and the excitement of the first baby.  The first bath at home, first smile (which was at dad, bugger), how he used to wheel around in his little baby walker at about mach 2!  First steps, first teeth, first time he stacked boxes on each other and climbed up on the pool table and threw pool balls at the dog! ;)  When he drove a golf cart into a motor home at 2, and the many other ER trips we made during his first few years.  I basically let my mind form a documentary of his life in my head.  Going to kindergarten, holding baby brothers, breaking about a dozen windows. ;)  As in all good short films I skipped over the not so fun parts, those really aren't worth spending a lot of time on.  I watch in my head as he grew up into a young boy and learned to read and played with friends and got his feelings hurt.  All of the life lessons he has already learned, many the hard way....all making up the most amazing young man he has become.  I thought back over all the games I have watched him play; flag football, basketball and his favorite, baseball.  So many special moments all coming together to make this very special short film I have running in my mind.

A few years ago I read a quote that struck me as so very wise, "It's ok to look back, just don't stare".  At some point I realized I was staring, and put a stop to the film and turned my focus back to the present and the very exciting future he has ahead of him.  I wonder what kind of memories will be there to make up my next documentary on him?  It's exciting to think about all the firsts he still has coming his way.  What a blessing to get a front row seat to this most awesome kid's ongoing documentary!

Once the "talking" part of the night ended it was time for a tour.  The hubby and I took the big one and a friend and set off into the high school to check it out.  Weird.  That is all I can say, weird.  So much looks exactly the same.  I remember where my locker was my senior year, walked right by the computer class the hubby and I had together, the library (well, I don't actually remember that, I'm not sure I ever went in there.  Hoping the big kid doesn't follow in my exact footsteps.)  The boys checked everything out...mostly the girls, signed up for a few sports and were ready to go.  As we are walking out the hubby says, "hay guys, there's a nook right up here where your mom and I used to make out."  Jeez.  Two teenagers just threw up in their mouth, and I am now out of my nostalgic revelry.  ;)

The wine of the day is Trefethan cabernet.  The Trefethan vineyard holds a special memory from 14 years ago, I'm sure one sip of this will send me right back to my "documentary".  I'll just have to make sure I don't stare. ;)

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, February 21, 2011

The W(h)ine Hour...They Whine and I Wine: Monday, February history and the co...

The W(h)ine Hour...They Whine and I Wine: Monday, February history and the co...: "It's President's day, and all across this great nation kids are learning about our founding fathers. This can bring up many great top..."

Monday, February history and the common sense party!

It's President's day, and all across this great nation kids are learning about our founding fathers.   This can bring up many great topics of conversation at the dinner table.  One of mine asked tonight, "why does only bad history repeat itself?"  Good question, maybe all history repeats itself and it's just so much easier to notice the bad.  I say we stop giving the bad so much attention and start focusing on all the good.  Let's find some good history repeating itself!  I'm pretty excited about the way this conversation is going, making some good points, doing my part in raising responsible citizens.  Then the little throws out with a big excited grin on his face, "does that mean your gonna stop being bad to us when do bad stuff?"  He cuts right to the point doesn't he?  So much for my philosophical lesson for the day. That's history;)

At our neighborhood elementary school tonight the fifth graders put on a living history museum.   The kids are assigned a character from the revolutionary era in American history.   They write a short biographical sketch, find a costume and are stationed around the school for people to listen and learn about their person. At the museum, the middle kid was John Paul Jones, a famous naval captain that coined the phrase "I have not yet begun to fight!" Btw, this is the perfect character for him! ;) They stationed my John Paul right smack dab in the middle of the media center, which in this particular school, is the center of the universe.  The kids all had on name tags with a star on it...push the star and hear their story.  He said he had his button pushed no less than 500 times, which I'm guessing equates to about 25 times. ;)  His button was pushed by the assistant principal, principal, and the superintendent of schools, which he felt was particularly news worthy.  When we were done, all he had to say was, "Jeez, my armpits are sweaty!" :))  Love him!  Not sure where that kid will go in life, but I can tell you it will be amazing, and he will be totally lovable and laughable the whole way there!

After school today the little one is eager to tell me all about his day.   They talked about several Presidents and what each one did for our country.  He concludes his daily wrap up with, "I don't like our President." (Don't panic, this is not turning into a political blog or my personal soap box, but this story is worth sharing because in it's simplicity it is so right on.)  I decide to take a neutral response here, I want to see what his reasoning is, and what prompted this line of thought,  "Why not little one?"  He responds with, "he just wants to take some people's money and give it to other people."  At this point I'm starting to wonder how this lesson was taught today, but I just calmly say, "And you think that's bad? What if someone needs help because they are sick or hurt, shouldn't we help them out?" He's 8, so there are no prejudices, no tainted views of the world or of people in general, he takes things at face value.  It is what it is...good description of how these three are being raised and this one has got that down.  He says, "Well, people shouldn't need the President to tell them to help those people out, everyone should just help them because they need it.  I mean if someone falls down you would help them get up without the President telling you to."  There is nothing else to say here, he is right.  How wise of his little 8 year old self.  If everyone started helping others just because they can and it's the right thing to do, many yucko things in this world would cease to exist.  That is just good common sense, if someone needs them.  I told him he should start the common sense party (which is what I like to think I belong to) and then run for President.  He said, "ok, but I'll have to do that after I've played football for the Sooners, basketball for the Thunder and baseball for the Yankees.  Maybe when I'm like 30 or something.";)  He's got my vote! :)

The wine for the day is Monticello Presidential Merlot.  Let me just say, there is no better way to kill 30 minutes before afternoon carpools start than at the wine store doing "research" for this blog!  Have you ever noticed how friendly people are while shopping for wine?  Sharing suggestions, asking if you've tried something....I made 3 new friends just today!  I'm going back tomorrow, by the end of this week I'm going to know 20 new people!  This is exciting!

Happy Monday!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Sunday, February 20th.....It's a Slam Dunk, Baaaby!

What a beautiful weekend this has been, weather in the mid-60's, lots of outside play time and no basketball games! Well, at least no basketball for anyone at this house. ;)  It's the all star break for the NBA, and that means lots of fun basketball to watch!  Last night they had the three point contest, skills challenge and the ultimate..the slam dunk contest!  We had to use the dvr for this one.  The hubby and I had a fancy dinner to attend, so the boys got to go with their Aunt to see Beauty and the Beast on stage.  There was the usual grumbling before hand about what I call the GSP (get some culture), "it's gonna be boring", it's too girlie", "there will be guys in tights" blah blah blah.  Different story this morning, they all three loved it!  I mean what's not to love, right?  Cool sets, great singing and a beauty!  The big one kept sending me pictures via text of little girls that were attending the play in their Belle dresses, he thought that was so cute.  "Aren't they cute mom, we need a little sister to dress up like that for this stuff."  Ummmm, NO we don't!  You can borrow a little sister from a friend, that ain't happenin here. ;)

This morning, we all gathered around our tv in our jammies and snuggled in to watch the slam dunk contest from last night.  The boys were so excited they could hardly stand it!  Blake Griffin is in it!  He is from our town and went to a small private school that the boys also attended for a couple of years, so of course, that means they know him. ;)  Also in the contest is Serge Ibaka.  Serge plays for the Thunder, our hometown heros, and dad and the boys go to lots of games.  So, they know two players in the contest. ;) Its funny to me how in tune they are with the players and always talk as if they're all great buddies.  You can't remember to brush your teeth, but you can tell me stats on 25 different players from the past 2 years?  The inner workings of the boy mind...I'll never understand it. ;)   The dunks are pretty amazing, two balls at once, three balls at once, from the free throw line, jumping over cars; Serge even grabs a rumble from the goal with his teeth while dunking!  I have to admit, it's all pretty impressive.  As soon as the contest is over and our good friend Blake has won (ha), the boys disappear.  It's not 5 minutes and I hear them running outside in a brainstorming session on how many different ways to dunk.  Some of the ideas are pretty creative...from a skateboard, off the roof, using the bike ramp, and off a ladder were some of my favorites.  Then I hear, "guys guys, this is IT, this is the one!  We'll set up the bike ramp in front of the goal, I'll ride the little dirt bike, you can get on my shoulders and when I drive up off the ramp you can dunk!"  Whoa nellie...hold on just a minute here boys, did I just hear all that right?  Noooo Waaaaay!   "We'll wear helmets! And knee pads!  And elbow pads!  And wrist guards!"  Nope, no way, still no, not a chance.  I do not feel like going to the ER today.  They finally settled on the dirt bike parked at the end of the bike ramp in front of the goal.  The idea is to run up the ramp, launch off the seat of the dirt bike and fly thru the air....slam dunk!   Here are some pics of how that turned out.  Pretty great actually! :)  And, no trips to the ER!  Banner day!

Favorite thing I heard today....after picking the middle up from a long birthday party the big one says. "man, we missed you middle!  It's boring around the house without the middle here."  Awww, that's so sweet.  That was quickly followed up with, "can't wait til we get back home so I can pummel you in a basketball game!"  And there you have it in a nutshell.  Life in this crazy house summed right up! ;)

The wine of the day is Home Grown, it's a blend of several reds all in one!  And, no it wasn't grown at this home. ;)  It's in honor of our home boys in the all star weekend.  You know, our "friends" Blake and Serge and Kevin. ;)  Enjoy the wine and enjoy the game!

Happy Sunday!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Friday, February 18th....Top 10 reasons why I don't fit in here. ;)

Remember that song you used to sing when you were in of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong.  Can you tell which thing is not like the others, by the time I finish my song.  That song was apparently written to describe my grown up self.  Guess which thing here is not like the others?  It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure it out, but here are a few clues.

10.   Pink is my favorite color.

9.     A great day of snow skiing is when I DON'T fall, not when I end up on my behind with a pile of snow up my nose and down my pants.

8.     When at the pool my main goal is to get a tan not to see how many people I can annoy with my cannonball.

7.     I don't enjoy talking about, smelling or making myself toot.

6.     I can walk thru the house without touching anyone in any way, in fact I prefer it that way.

5.     The only thing I "throw" is a fit, and that only happens when no one listens to me.

4.     Any motorized vehicle I am on/in has a roof, door and windows and it is street legal.

3.      I do not have 75 different names for #2 in the bathroom, and I never feel the need to talk about, put on display or make giant arm gestures describing #2's in the bathroom.

2.     I can play any type of game or sport without trying my hardest to beat everyone else that is playing.

And, the number 1 reason I do not fit in here is.....

1.      I don't have balls.  ;)  Btw, I've been looking for a big word to replace the word ball in my vocabulary so that no jokes can be made.  So far I've tried, orb, globoid and rondure....some of the jokes that came back to me on those I cannot repeat here. ;)

The wine of the day is a box wine, Black Box merlot.  Let me just say that the box 'O wine has come a loooong way over these past years.  It's like having a tap right in your kitchen!  I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but it sure is easy!  Two drawbacks to the box wine, it's like 6 bottles in one box so you are stuck with that box for a really long time...choose wisely.  And, there is no place for a crazy straw, so if it's been "that" kind of day this would not be a good choice!

Happy Friday!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Thursday, February 17th....Long whine hour and no wine!

Pheeeewww, I don't know what just happened, but I think it's called a whirlwind!  I might have logged 250 miles on my car today driving in a five mile radius. ;) This is crazy!  Someone forgot their agenda, someone forgot a uniform that had to be returned today, someone forgot their lunch.  It's a good thing all of our heads are attached.;)  And, then the afternoon running started.  And when I say running, I'm not talkin a little 5K fun run, this was a full on sprint marathon.  Tennis and baseball and open house for the little one!
When we arrive in the little one's room at open house I immediately notice that there is one desk spaced a little away from all of the others.  Guess who sits there? HA!  "Hay, little guy, whose desk is that?"  Instead of an answer I got the grand tour of the math games, the computer lab, the snowmen he had made recently.  Pretty much saw every detail of that room...except his desk.  I finally have to ask point blank, where he sits.  He starts looking around the room like he isn't sure, but hang on a minute and I'll check it out.  He's got the innocent try to distract her with my big blue eyes thing down real well.  When his teacher comes over to us and asks if he's shown me his desk yet, the jigs up and he knows it.  He starts walking slowly, taking the long cut (as he calls it) over to his island of a desk.  We finally reach our destination and he tries the theory "best  defense is offense" out on me.  "Isn't this a cool desk, mom?  Don't you love where it is and look how neat it is inside!"  I'm seriously trying not to laugh, when the teacher catches up to us again and offers, "Little one is sitting over here because he is having a little trouble not talking to his neighbors, aren't we little guy."  Huh?  Aren't we?  What is she talking about, there's no "we" in this little guy lady.  I wonder if she thinks that "we" will soften the blow? I have no idea why she is talking like this, and frankly I don't care if he is sitting a little by himself, if he was naughty and talking to much he should be punished.  Then she continues on, "you know, he's had some problems messing around in the bathroom this year too." This year? So sometime in the last 6 months he has gone into a bathroom at school and messed around.  Several 8 yr old boys in the bathroom messing around...I'm shocked...really.  The fact that she is taking this whole conversation very seriously has me near hysterics.  All I can choke out is a quick, "thank you so much for your patience, loved the open house. Bye now."  I'm ouutta here.  The little one was only too happy to cut that short and head out hoping to find his big brothers were somewhere in the school wreaking havoc to take the heat off him. ;)  No such luck, they were *surprise* waiting patiently.

The wine of the day is a big Sonic drink of your favorite flavor.  When you log 250 miles on your car in a day you best leave the wine at home.  A drink from Sonic runs a close second on the mommy scale and is the perfect substitute for those days you must turn on your taxi light and deliver kids all over God's creation.  My favorite is water with extra ice and a lime, coke with a lime comes in a close second.  I also love the cranberry limeade!  If your feeling real sassy...get a blast!  Dessert and drink in one...banner idea!

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Wednesday, February 16th....A Catch and A Chat.

Today was the most gorgeous day of the year so far.  Almost 80 and sunny, a rare treat in February.  Funny that there is still snow on the ground from the last two weeks of our storms of the century.  Only in Oklahoma. ;)  After school today the middle asked if we could go outside and play some catch.  Baseball practice starts tomorrow and he wanted to get a little time in with the glove.  Neither of his brothers were interested, I think that might be a first.  So he and I dug out two gloves and a baseball and headed to the front yard.  I suggested we start off close together so he could warm his arm up a little before we started getting serious.  In reality, I'm just thinking that being close might save me from a fat lip or a bloody nose. ;)  As we start throwing the ball back and forth, he starts to talk.  This one definitely has the gift of gab, but lately he has been very quiet.  He is going thru a tough time at school, feeling unliked and unpopular.  Sadly, the middle school years are starting before he is done with elementary school.  With each toss of the ball another story comes out.  Some are about when he has felt left out, others are about things in class.  I just keep throwing the ball back hoping he'll keep talking, and thankful that he hasn't asked to start moving back for longer throws and less conversation.  After a little while, he has gotten all the yuck out and the good stuff starts to flow.  We talk about the future and what sounds fun to try in middle school, what sports he may want to play and what big brother has liked and not liked while in the next stage.  He tells me funny things kids said or did, a compliment from a teacher, and his new job as helper to special kids at recess time.  He has many stories about the kids with special needs and how neat they are, the problems they are facing and how he gets to interact with them.  Today they got to take them outside to play on the kindergarten playground.  He was amazed at the enjoyment they found in pretending to go for a ride in the truck or swinging on the swings.  Then he says, "you know mom, the special kids are so great because they don't care what I'm wearing, or how tall I am, or if I'm popular or not.  If I'm nice to them, they are nice to me, that's how it should be with everyone."  So true true.

By this time the other two have come out with their gloves and are ready for some catch too.  Because of my "girlishness" I am now sent to the cheer leader section. ;)  Turned out to be the best seat in the house.  I got to witness one of the rarest things a mother can see, all three of my boys having a real conversation.  They asked each other how school was today, how tennis practice was, when baseball would start up.  Back and forth went the ball in a perfect parallel to the conversation.  I sat there feeling true and absolute joy, that maybe they really do like each other and will have a friendship that will last their lifetimes.  It was a rare glimpse into the relationship the three of them have, one of love and respect.  I still can't believe how long that went on.  Of course, as all good things came to an abrupt end when one called another a pansy and the third threw in, "you throw like mom."  Excuse Me?  Rude...

Today's wine is The Wishing Tree Shiraz.  I chose it because I wish for more chat and catch days with my boys. :)  Also, because it has a screw top and those are just way easier for me to open! ;)

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Tuesday, February 15th....1 out of 6 ain't bad.

Today I started singing it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood, would you be mine...could you be mine.  And all three of my kids looked at me like I had completely lost my mind.  I actually get that look frequently from them, but on this?  It's Mr. Roger's neighborhood people, why are you looking at me like that?   The little one starts in, "Mr Rogers?  Who is that?"  The middle adds, "is that the jerk up the street that hired the snow plow?" guys, Mr. Rogers is a kid's show that I used to watch, and he sang that song at the beginning of each episode, and it's such a pretty day today that's what came to my mind.  The little one is immediate in his response, "oh, was that back in the day?"  And, then the old lady comments start up..."yep, that was back in the day when mom was little, when they didn't have light bulbs."  "back when she was walkin with the dinosaurs." Then the yo momma's sooo old jokes started, "yo momma's so old she had the original copy of the ten commandments."  Oooookkkk, boys, that is quite enough, I am not that old!  Loving the big one who jumps right in with, "Guys!  She's only 26!  Wait, mom, that's kinda weird that you call yourself 26, I mean, I'm the math.  Gross."  It's time for a subject change....and fast!

After school today we had the extra pleasure of having some friends over!  I'm thinking I might win mom of the year for this one, because I'm not very good at having friends over.  Usually, my own three are quite enough.  But today, a friend needed help and having extras sound like a great idea on this beautiful day!  When they are being dropped off, I get to spend a couple of minutes visiting with another grown up...bonus!  After a few minutes of laughing at how crazy our 6 boys are, she needs to go and needs to take one of hers with her.  It is oddly quiet around the house for having 6 boys in it.  It is also oddly silent outside.  Uh oh. The youngest of the six is watching tv, "hey buddy, have you seen #'s 1-5?" He says not in awhile, so we head outside thinking we will find them playing some sort of sport out there.  Nope. Not a one of them is anywhere to be seen, or heard...and we are talking about some pretty loud boys here.  Disappeared...bikes are here, dirt bikes are here, razor is here...boys are not here.  So, great...we lost 5.  Well, 1 out 6 ain't bad! ;)  There goes that mom of the year award....again.

Funny things heard during the driveway basketball game this evening...
"I just kicked your astronaut"
"This isn't fair, dad's putting his 200 pounds of puddin on me."
"He just shoved me in the back."  followed by "no I didn't, I shoved you in the behind."  Huh? I don't even know.

Then they all come in, one with his pants pulled down.  What happened here?  "The game ended in a full moon."  Well, I guess that's better than with a fat lip and naughty words. ;)

The whine hour ended today with the oldest coming to me with his phone in hand.  "Hey mom, you know that website, damn auto correct? I've got one to add to that."  Grrrreat, why don't you tell me what it said and who you sent it to so I know what we are dealing with.  Apparently, he was trying to let his tennis coach know he was on his way out to the courts for practice...the text said, "see you in a sex".  Not see you in a sec which is what he was trying to say.  You can imagine the embarrassment for a 14 yr old boy sending that to his GIRL tennis coach.  Luckily, she has a sense of humor similar to mine and just laughed it off.  She told him not to worry about it, she would just save that one for later. :)  I reeeallly like her!

The wine of the day is Sunshine's a riesling.  I picked it for the sun that was shining down on us today.  Mr. Roger's and I are going to sip on that and sing a few bars about our beautiful neighborhood. ;)

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Monday, February 14th....Valentine's Day & Boys

Valentines Day with 3 boys in the house sounds good, doesn't it?  No drama, no broken hearts, no messy crafty valentines.  Just the run of the mill ordinary candy valentines that a name can be quickly scribbled across and given out at school.  As usual, I have under estimated this situation.  Oh, the valentines were as expected, names written out quickly on stickers to go on tiny skittles bags for everyone in each class.  The rest of the day has had it's share of ups and downs.  It started off with me asking everyone if they have their valentines box/bag in their back packs for this afternoons party.  The little one is right on that, "yep mom, it's all packed up and ready to go!"  The middle slyly throws out, "my sack is ready."  There is a strange emphasis on the word sack.  The statement is met with some under the breath chuckling by the oldest and some quiet comments back that I can't hear, but which result in loud guffaw laughing from both of them.  Then the oldest adds, "I don't need a sack, no parties in middle school."  More snickering. Ummm, ok something is up here.  "Boys, what is going on?  Why are you making faces and laughing about a sack being ready to go to school?"  These questions can only be described as a colossal mistake on my part.  Apparently, this is referring to some sort of slang for a male "part".  Another word that is now on my "never say that again list...sack."  This is getting ridiculous, because that list grows by the day and pretty soon I will be stuck with about a 5 word vocabulary.  I have resolved today that I am going to start using the thesaurus a LOT for really big words to describe everyday things.  It won't be so easy to make a joke of any kind out of the word integument. ;)  Take that boys.

At school the two younger ones had parties and exchanged valentines with all of their classmates.  The little one comes home with a handmade card from a girl he calls his "girlfriend".  "Look mom, she drew a heart on here and it says I love you Adam."  Whoooaaaaa, whhaattt?  I'm trying not to over-react too quickly on this so I take a deep breath and say, "well, that's nice buddy, umm, why do you think she put I love you on it?  I mean, you're a little young for love or even a girlfriend, right?"  Now, I don't know that many 8 yr olds that have perfected the "you are a total dumb a@*, I can't believe you just said that" look, but this one has got it down pat and is throwing that look my way with the perfect amount of innocence and impishness.  Then he says, "well I didn't think we were official, but this note might have just changed that."  The big one (who is btw, the one he learned that look from) is rolling on the floor at this "official" statement.   I am trying to decide how big of a deal to make of this.  My limited years of experience with stuff like this have taught me that if I can keep my cool and blow stuff off it usually goes away on its own, so I just shrug my shoulders and walk away with this parting shot, "alrighty then, I guess you are a boyfriend now, that's big time."  About 5 minutes later he finds me and says, "maybe I don't really want to be someone's boyfriend, maybe I'll play the field for a little longer." Pahhaaa, guess big brother got to him after I walked away! Thanks big kid! :)

There was also some hurt feelings and an uncharacteristic amount of drama involved today.  Suffice it to say, kids can be mean and it stinks.  All I can do about it is give hugs along with chocolate covered strawberries and iced valentine cookies...I wish that was enough. 

Just a quick update...finally got the little guy out of his uniform last night.  All 4 boys were out having a rough game of driveway ball and he got whacked in the mouth, bled all over the front of it and has a fat lip.  This was not the way I wanted to get him out of it.  I would have chosen a much less drama filled way, like shredding it with scissors (and yes, that would have been less drama than the bloody mouth caused...not even kidding.)  Now I won't get to complete my experiment on how long it takes the teacher to say something about the uniform being worn every day to school.  Rats, I was kind of looking forward to that phone call. :)

Today's wine is actually a champagne, called Hello Kitty.  Yep, it's the exact Hello Kitty you are thinking about, unless you are a little friend of mine who calls it "Holla Kitty". :)  It's all pink and girlie, which is what Valentines day is really all about, isn't it?  All things pink, revolves around the girls, and if something sparkly is involved, all the better!  It comes with a little charm hanging around it's neck.  To all the guy readers...I would not recommend buying this with the idea that your getting drinks and gift in one, maybe switch that Hello Kitty charm out for something just a little more sparkly or forget the kitty, your sleeping in the doghouse. ;)

Happy Monday!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Sunday, February 13th....A new "E" and stinky DeeeeFense!

This has been a great weekend!  Time out with friends, sister and fiance in town and wedding dress shopping mixed in with lots of basketball!  Add to that the weather is gorgeous and I am one happy girl, sense of humor restored and I'm ready to roll!

This weekend the little one has been playing in a tournament, with the first 2 games on Friday night.  Thankfully there were grandparents willing to take him, and there was a big brother along with a cell phone to text us updates during the game.  First text said..."Dash got a new uniform" and it had a picture attached.  It's a pretty snazzy uniform and he is looking like a pro-fessional ball player.  There were several more texts thru dinner letting us know how he was playing, what the score was and how both games ended.  A little later in the evening I got one that said, "they are both in bed, the little one is sleeping in his new uni."  I thought, oh gosh, that is so cute, he really loves his new uniform!  By Saturday morning, when he still has it on as we leave for the middle's game, I'm starting to think we might have a problem.  He watched the middle play, had lunch out and then off to his third game...and the uniform is still going strong.  About 6:00pm when it's almost time to leave for church I say, "hay little one, you think you might want to shower and change clothes for church?"  Quick reply, "umm, no thanks, I'm going to go ahead and keep this uniform on, I'll just spray some Axe on myself." OoooKkkkk, that is great, because if I have learned nothing else in the last 14 years, I have definitely learned to pick my battles.  This isn't one I'm going to fight. You and your stinky uniform and cloud of Axe can go right on to church.  This seems like a good idea, the natural consequences of not being dressed right and being cold will surely teach him a lesson and then he will decide on his own not to keep clothes on for so long next time.  Suddenly I have a flash back from the early years and previous struggles with him. Oh.My.Gosh.

He has another "E".

When the little guy was about a year old he inherited an OU jersey from one of his brothers.  He called it his "E".  He wore it everyday for a year and a half!  That's right, every single day for an entire 18 months the child had on his "E".  In the summer he would wear it with nothing under it and shorts, in the winter, jeans and a turtle neck.  When we went skiing he would have on all his layers including the fleece and then put the "E" on over it.  Literally, every single day he had that "E" on, well actually, there were 3 "E"'s I rotated to wash, but he never knew that. Shhhh....somethings are better left unsaid.;)

This morning, I asked again,  "hay bud, you want to take that off and let me wash it and maybe shower before your game?" Again with the very quick reply, "no thanks, I'm keepin this baby on for a full 48 hours!" I thought about that for a minute and decided on another tactic, "you know you are going to be the stinky kid if we don't wash that uniform".  In all of his 8 yr old wisdom he reply's, "I know mom, it's my DeeeeFense, I'm just going to hold up my arms and aim my pits at them, it will stink them out of there."  HA!  Well, I really can't argue with that kind of logic, go ahead and wear it.
When the kid makes up his mind on is made up. Period. I know this is going to be a great trait...when he is a GROWN UP!  For now, he'll just be the stinky kid in the really cool uniform.  At least it's going to be in the mid 60's this week so he won't freeze at school. ;)  I wonder how many days in a row he will have to wear it before I get a phone call?  This is going to be a fun experiment!

The wine of the day is Fat Bastard Chardonnay.  It was suggested to me BY a good friend of mine, not BECAUSE of him. ;)  Although, sometimes we do call him a sad sick little man. :))  It really is a great line of wines, as long as your kids don't see and want to know what a bastard is, that can be kind of awkward. ;)

Happy Sunday!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Friday, February 11th.....There will be no whine tonight!

My kids have only gone to school 3 days out of 14.....that is just not enough for me.  Actually, it's not enough for them either.  In order to preserve everyone's sanity today, we went to see a movie.  Saw Gnomeo and Juliet.  I loved it....the boys not so much.  They must not have gotten all the hidden innuendos and underlying humor.  I chuckled thru the whole thing, which is a testament to the movie since I am on the verge of loosing my sense of humor after all of these days of togetherness.

So, tonight there will be no whine hour for this girl...I am going O U T!  On a date!  Tonight I will channel my inner girl....I will put on some sassy shoes, get out of the mommy suit and kick my heels up a little bit!  I'm going to locate that all important sense of humor and get it firmly back in place.  All moms need to do this..and do it often.  With your man or with your girls, it doesn't matter, just get out there and act like a grown up, with other grown ups!  Wahooooo!!

There is no wine of the day as I will be having whatever the very highly educated wine guy at the restaurant suggests.  I'm pretty sure he doesn't pick on cuteness of label. ;)

Happy Friday!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Thursday, February 10th.....Top 10 reasons you don't want to be our neighbor

It's been another day of everyone home. All. Day. Long. Together.   That pretty much sums it up right there.  At one point today the boys were outside playing, racing around on their toys, sledding, throwing snowballs, just having a grand time.....our poor neighbors.  As I pondered that thought, a myriad of reasons why you might not want to buy the house next door to us flooded my mind.  Here are the top 10...

10.   We have a razor and we aren't afraid to drive it waaay too fast up and down the street

9.     We will do drive by's on our dirt bikes with snowballs if the situation calls for it.

8.     On the 4th of July, the grown ups will get rowdy and we will be setting off fireworks, whether that's legal or not.  Someone may end up sitting in a lawn chair in the pool.  Just sayin....

7.     You might hear an 8 yr old scream out jerk ass in the middle of the street. (btw, not many 8 yr olds can say they have coined a phrase.)

6.     4 boys will play "street" basketball on the driveway...people will go down, elbows will be thrown and cuss words will be screamed out in frustration.  (then hot mouth will be administered;)

5.     We often have enough sports paraphernalia & 2 wheel vehicles in the yard to rival Sanford & Sons

4.     Rocks and slingshots are fun

3.     On any given day they might decide they like golf & then decide a driver is more fun than a wedge

2.     We have a frequent buyer card with our local window replacer

And the number 1 reason why you might not want to live near us.....

1.     There is always a chance that you might drive by and see any one of four boys peeing in the yard.

I really could have saved a lot of time here with this.....4 BOYS LIVE HERE!  And, one slightly crazed mom! ;)

The wine for the day is Mad Housewife Chardonnay.  I'm not sure, but I interpret "mad" to be crazy, like, next stop on the crazy train is the looney bin kind of mad.  Not angry mad.  I may be on my way to the mental ward in a pink straight jacket, but I'll have a smile on my face the whole way! :))

Happy Thursday!!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Wednesday, February 9th....It's a crazy straw kind of day!

This day started off with the most beautiful peaceful morning.  Outside, snow was falling in big romantic flakes and I lay in bed thinking...this is going to be a great day at home with my boys.  Just enjoying the snow all curled up in a big blanket by the fire sipping hot tea..ahh, so peaceful.  Then reality set in like a bad perm I once got back in 1985!  There was some sort of ruckus happening out in the living room, I couldn't tell exactly what was happening, but I dragged myself out of my fantasy world of peace to investigate.  The little two were up early.  Apparently the fact that school was cancelled and alarms had been turned off didn't phase them in the least.  They were yelling at each other, "stupid, idiot, butt, stupid butt" get the picture.  I was all ready with my "you shouldn't call people names speech" when suddenly I decided to take a different approach.  I can't really justify in any way why I thought this was a good idea, all I can say is that at that particular time this is what came out of my mouth, "moron, dimwit, dummy, lamebrain, dunce, dingbat."  The boys continued on with their name calling and the three of us sang along like a three part harmony of ridiculous insults!  All at once, they both stopped and looked at me rather curiously and the middle one says, "mom, what are you doing?" I just looked at them all innocence, "oh, I thought we were playing a game called who has the funniest dumb names."  He answers, "Well then, you win cuz lamebrain is the funniest thing I've heard!" :)  Oops, that one is probably going to come back to bite me later. ;)

The day continued on with numerous cage matches, I won't bore you with those details, just suffice it say, there was hitting, kicking, throwing of objects, crying and even a little blood involved.   Just a regular day here in crazy town.  At one point we all took a nice break from the action to watch Justin Beiber on Ellen.  That resulted in the little one asking the big one what a tampax is during a commercial break.  I slid down further under my blanket on the couch totally leaving the big out there on that limb all by himself.  He very calmly says, "you probably need to ask mom that sometime when I'm not around."  Thu thud thud thud, that's the sound of me being thrown under the bus.  Thankfully, I was able to distract the little guy with a yo momma joke I pulled right out of my...well, you know where and then Ellen was back on!  Phew, that was a close one, I am in no way ready to have that talk with an 8 yr old on our 700th snow day of the year.  I'm gonna save that one up for another day. ;)

Finally, this afternoon it warmed up just enough for the children to go outside and get some much needed fresh air.  I almost locked the door behind them. ;)  They were having a ball out there in the razor and on the dirt bike, zipping up and down the street, sledding and having a blast, when IT arrives.  One of our fun hater neighbors has apparently hired a tractor/bulldozer thingie to come plow the snow off of the street.  Well, this isn't going over too big with 3 boys who want to play in said snow.  I see the three of them retreat to the garage for a pow wow of strategic planning.  They come up with a 3 part plan that consists of one on the dirt bike, one in the razor and one making ammo.  I have to admit, it's a well thought out plan and each participant knows his duties and is carrying them out to the fullest.  The big one is riding around in the razor.  As soon as the tractor makes a pass and leaves a pile of snow, he is driving thru it dragging it back on the road and basically creating a snow cloud behind him that looks like the fallout from a nuclear explosion.  I can see the grin on his face from the kitchen window, where I am watching this whole thing go down.  The middle one is on the dirt bike.  He is doing drive by's on the tractor throwing snowballs at it every time they pass, which I can tell he is finding hilarious and if he hits his target I can seriously hear his belly laugh in the house.  These boys are in boy heaven.  The poor little guy is stuck on the ammo, and that is really fun for a little bit, but after awhile that gets old and he starts throwing all his ammo at this brothers.  Then he's inside....quickly. ;)   Listening to his belly laugh every time the middle lands a snowball on the tractor is enough for me to let this go on a little longer.  Finally, the tractor guy throws in the towel and heads for the hills, I don't blame him, these three are a formidable adversary and taking them on isn't for the faint at heart...pansy. ;)  I'll be sorry I let this go on for so long when I get the phone call from the neighbor about my little hoodlums.

The wine for today is Royal Bitch.  Sorry, for the profanity, but that's what is on the label and that is what I'm going to be if this noschoolapalooza 2 goes on for too much longer.  Seemed like a good choice. ;)  Notice the crown...that is really why I picked this one, I mean what girl doesn't love a good crown!

Happy Wednesday!

Short p.s.....just found out school is cancelled again tomorrow. I'm gonna have to rename this blog, tales from the crypt soon. ;)

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Tuesday, February 8th - Someone Shut the Freezer Door!

Good Lord it's cold outside...I mean really butt kickin cold...why?  Did someone leave the freezer door open? They keep saying we are getting "arctic air blasts".  As far as I'm concerned the arctic can just go ahead and keep it's air, we are doing just fine down here with our own air, thank you.  Tonight we are going to get 8-12" of snow...that total is going up every time one of our weathermen comes on the tv, which happens to be about every 5 minutes.  If you don't live in Oklahoma and have never lived here then it's hard to appreciate the supreme drama that goes into our weather.  To get just a quick taste of it, watch the you tube video "damn you snow".  If I was more tech savvy I would link that video to this blog, but since I am more tech idiot, and it's nothing short of a miracle that I have even created this blog, you'll have to go look that up on your own.  ;)

So, this has been an incredibly busy day preparing for noschoolapalooza 2.  I've been running around here and there all day picking up things to make it just a touch more bearable for us snow shut in's over the next few days.  Plenty of bread, frozen pizzas and soda, a couple new video games for the crazies, and of course, a fun stop at the local wine shop.  That was by far the most fun errand of the day, but the funniest was the trip into the grocery store.  Us southerners have clearly lost our minds with two storms of the century in 7 days, and grocery carts were piled high to the sky.  I mean, you would think we were preparing for the nuclear holocaust and were all heading into a bunker for the next 2 years.  With that kind of pressure and the presence of about 200 shopping carts going up and down 15 aisles, tempers were starting to flare.  I decided to take a different approach to the impending crisis, humor.  I recommend this approach to just about everything in life, and this situation was calling for a double dose.   So I started throwing out little comments as I maneuvered my cart around the store, just little one liners out loud to myself (that kind of kind of makes me seem a little crazy, like maybe I really am a part of this frenzy too) "where is all the food?  there's no food left on aisle 8?  I wonder where the vodka aisle is?"  Really, I'm just entertaining myself as I walk thru the store picking up the essentials to not waste away for 3 or 4 days.  So, I'm on the brownie/cake mix aisle staring at the box mixes trying to decide which one looks the yummiest when this little old lady slowly makes her way around the corner by me.  She is elderly, maybe 95 or something and is creaking along using her grocery cart as a walker, and she stops by me and throws deadpan as they come "if I have to stay in my house one more week, I'm not going to be able to walk!" I'm thinking, oh you poor thing, this cold weather probably really hurts.  She continues on, "I'm going to have to waddle!" :))  Then she picks up some brownie mix, tosses it in her cart and moves on down the aisle.  LOOOOVE this!!   I will definitely have what she's having....I got the same brownie mix and headed to the check out.  My work here is done.

As usual, my 3 reasons for starting the w(h)ine hour have had their moments in the last day or so too.  Here are a few of the highlights:
Last night as the middle was getting into bed I reminded him to put his retainer in.  He reached for the case and realizing it wasn't in there, started looking around for it.  He finally located it on the floor.  He grabbed it up, and immediately threw it in his mouth.   He got a real funny look on his face, and when he took it back out to inspect it he noticed that one end of it was completely mangled.  "What the heck happened here?" he says all innocence.  I don't know middle, what was it doing on the floor?  He looks it over very carefully, and very slowly like he's inspector 21 at the local sock factory and then says, "hmm, I think the dog ate it."  What?  Gross, you had that in your mouth, blah!  I immediately instruct him to run into the bathroom and wash his mouth out with Listerine, in quite a shrieking alarming tone of voice.  He really can't understand why I'm all excitable thinking he needs to clean his mouth out until I point out in a much more quiet, casual tone of voice, "you know she licks her butt." and then I add with a smirk, "she also eats poop." That did it, he's in the bathroom in T minus 2 seconds and I enjoy a good laugh all by myself.  Really, it's been days since he's worn it, so I know that any real germs would be long gone by now. ;)  So, off we go to the orthodontist this morning to get that thing fixed...jokes on me now. ;)

After coming home from basketball practice and a quick trip by our accountants office with dad, the little one comes up to give me a big hug and promptly lets out the most tremendous belch I have heard in a long time.  Gross!  Seriously, little guy, that is disgusting.  He looks right at me, no smile, no laugh just this...."why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it."  You cannot imagine how big my eyes got, I was seriously at a loss for words here (which doesn't happen often).  He immediately follows up in a very casual tone of voice with "that's what the accountant taught me."  Off he walks like it is no big deal, like what he just did wasn't completely disgusting and what he said wasn't hilarious!  I swear, I don't know where these kids come from some times...must get it from their father. ;)

Today's wine is the 7 Deadly Zins.  That name just has so much promise, doesn't it?  I bet if you drank the whole bottle you would commit at least 5 of those.  I'm not gonna try it. If anyone else wants to, make sure you report back, I'd looove to hear how that works out! ;)

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Monday, February 7th...I think we've hit a new level!

What a glorious day!  The sun is shining, the snow is melting, and all the kiddies are back in school!  There is a collective sigh of relief happening all over this town today, it seems noschoolapalooza is over!  But, wait...hold on there just a minute, there is something happening.  It's all over the news, it's BIG drama, it's got people rushing to the store and loading up on water, milk and bread.  It's the....wait for it, wait for's THE STORM OF THE CENTURY!  Ummm, hang on here, didn't we just have that last week?  Did I miss something?  Did an entire century go by already?  It felt like a century, sure but I think it's only been a week.  The weather guys might want to start calling these things the storm of the week, it just makes more sense.  We're expecting 6-10'' on Wednesday with high winds and freezing temps. Great. Super.  Noschoolapalooza 2 - rock on.

Quick update...the middle did not relieve us of any dogs yesterday with the new red rider triple pump carbine action two hundred shot range air rifle bb gun.  Didn't even get himself any birds or squirrels.  He was extremely responsible, uncharacteristically mature, always had on his safety glasses, only shot at the target, and was careful with the safety.  Interesting, why the sudden growing up of this one?  He is my fly by the seat of his pants, live life to the fullest, every moment has a party to offer kinda kid!  I am shocked at first, but as the afternoon moves on I become truly amazed at the wonderful, thoughtful mature young man he is becoming.  I almost feel a tear.  And then the super bowl commercials come on, and I am yanked back out of my revelry.  It all started with the Teleflora commercial..."dear Kim, your rack is unreal".  I hear that and right away realize some damage control is in order, so I throw out "A rack, haha, that's the thing red necks put in their trucks to hold their guns."  The big one is not buying that, and is laughing behind a pillow.  The middle one in all seriousness says, "I don't know anything about that mom, but he's referring to her boobs."  Referring?  Really.  This very serious statement is accompanied with the universal hand sign for boobs.  Probably don't have to explain that.  Well, great, everyone here knows all about the female body, that is fabulous.  That blows over fairly quickly, because it was really no big deal to anyone but me. ;)  Then comes the pepsi max commercial.  A young couple are on a date and she is wondering how much money he makes, if he loves his mother, if he wants kids, if he's "the one" and he is sitting there thinking I want to sleep with her....over and over and over.  There are peals of laughter all over the room, the hubby and big kid are about to fall out of their chairs laughing so hard and the middle, who is laying on the floor, is giggling in complete excitement..that he gets the joke.  I am cringing, seriously, this is exactly what I am trying to teach them not to be like, I want them to be suppportive and sweet and caring and blah blah blah.  Doesn't matter what I want or how I teach it, they are boys and that is how they think.  Btw, if I had been watching that without them I would have doubled over laughing too. :))  When the last Go Daddy commercial came on heavily insinuating that the girls were naked walking to the set you would have thought the middle kid had won the lottery!  He was really excited to see how that one ended, and slightly disappointed when it ended before it ended! Off he ran for the computer to hit the site and see for himself how that wrapped up.  He came back a few minutes later with complete disappointment in his voice, "forget about it big brother, they weren't really naked, they had some sort of something on."
Thank God all the boys were in bed when Elizabeth Hurley came on talking about her Brazilian wax job, I don't even know what that was a commercial for, and I certainly didn't feel like explaining the nuances of a good Brazilian wax to my 3 sons.
Guru's of the world of advertising...there are a lot of things out there that are really funny when you are at the local martini bar with your close friends on a Friday night, but those same things when said to a very broad audience that may or may not have been consuming alcohol of any kind often loose their punch.  Maybe try running that thru the ol' filter before firing it out there for about a billion people to see.
It would really help us moms out. ;)

The wine of the day is called Layer Cake!  It's a Shiraz, it's got a cake on the front so I'm thinking it is another dessert wine. ;)  Now I'm thinking of all the delicious sweets I might like to have with it later.  Pretty soon I'll be writing a blog about fat pants and girdles. ;)

Happy Monday!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

February 6, 2011 Are you ready for some football?

It's Super Bowl Sunday!  People will be picking sides today, for some it's their home town favorite for others it's their favorite team since childhood.  There's also those of us whose favorite team didn't quite make it this far, so we just pick the one with the best uniforms, cutest cheerleaders, or favorite player.  I hear some are picking this year due to something with the President and the Bears...I don't know anything about that.  What I do know is that all people will band together today on two and the love of funny commercials!  Can't wait to see what they entertain us with this year....talking babies, crazy frogs or my personal favorite Betty White playing football!  The woman is a comedic genius!  I hope I'm that funny when I'm 89! :)

Having three boys here (well, let's just go ahead and make that 4), this house is pretty sports oriented.  We watch sports ALL the time.  I have more useless sports fact in my head than I care to talk I won't. Because we are trying to teach our kids lots of good life lessons, and raise them to be responsible mature adults, we are introducing them to a fun game called gambling early in life. ;)  Gambling and sports really go quite nicely together.  Every year we print out the college bowl list and all pick who we think will win each game and follow closely to see who is getting ahead.  At the end of bowl season, the one with the most correct wins gets to pick where we go to dinner as a family on a special night out.  You would think we were playing for a million dollars the way this goes...this family has 4 cut throat super competitors and one quaker.  It probably doesn't require a flow chart for you all to know who the quaker is.  I have figured out, it doesn't matter who has the most points, I win! Dinner out = no cooking!  This year we decided to add in another fun gambling game, just to make sure our kids are getting the full force of this educational exercise, the NFL playoff bracket.  We all get our copies and steel off to different corners of the house to fill out our brackets in private, lest someone else see our picks and strategize against us.  Actually, I sit at the kitchen table and do mine in plain view, feel free to cheat off me boys...I've selected on a very precise and intricate goes like this...write one of the two teams down on each blank until all the blanks are filled in and I'm done!  Yep, that's how much thought I put into this.  My kids and husband spend a little more time on theirs. ;)   January 7th and all the brackets are turned in...let the games begin!  Week 1 -  whoa, a LOT of teams that I picked with my scientific method have lost.  In fact, several of us have lost our super bowl teams already, this isn't looking good.  Week 2 - I'm out completely, so is the hubby.  Hmm, looking again, it appears that so is the oldest,  and the middle.  Oh. My. Gosh.  The little one has won the bracket after the 2nd week!  Wahooo Dash(we call him Dash, because he is one faaaaast white boy)!   Where does the 8 yr old football guru want to go....McDonalds.  Nice.  Next year, I'm going to put a little more thought into my picks! ;)

If you would also like to introduce your young-ins to the fun world of gambling go to  They have super bowl bingo you can print off at home for a small price.  It really is a fun way to watch the game, and they even include the commercials.  It's just bingo, that's not gambling...right?  Today we are playing for cookies, each bingo gets a cookie. I can honestly say I hope I don't get one single bingo.  I have eaten about 3 dozen no bake cookies during the noschoolapalooza, and I probably need to lay off the sweets for awhile, or my skinny jeans will be hacked.  This means I will win at least 5 bingos during the game and of course will eat each and every cookie I win.  I mean that's how the game goes...I wouldn't want to break the rules or anything. ;)

There won't be a wine choice for today because the liquor stores are closed in the middle of the bible belt on Sundays. Must plan ahead.  I think I'll go back to the Cupcake, it will go nicely with those bingo cookies.

Just a little P.S.  the hubby and middle just got home from the store.  The middle used a gift card he's been saving for a new pump action bb gun and 12,000 bb's.  Yes, you did read that right, 12 THOUSAND!  Good Lord in Heaven, this isn't going to end well.  The instructions I heard yelled as the middle runs out the back door with his new treasure is "don't shoot the dog"!  I'm feeling another "I don't understand why they don't understand" conversation coming.  Oh, and the dogs are inside.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Saturday, February 5th....Full Entertainment Right Here At The House!

It's Saturday...which means everyone is home all day.  That in itself evokes a certain kind of challenge, now add to that, everything we would normally do is cancelled because of this white stuff all over the ground.  No baseball, no basketball, no tennis or golf....wait, I was going somewhere negative with that, but typing it out I've changed my mind.  This might not be a bad thing, except that we are still partly snowed in, and that is wearing a little thin. The one thing not cancelled this weekend is church!  Thank you God that we can get out as a family tonight and go say "Hi" to Jesus at His house.  It may seem, given the title of this blog, and the fact that we go to church on Saturday night that we are Catholic.  Nope, good ole southern Baptists right here.  Thankfully, we have found a church with Saturday night services which completely removes the full drama that comes with getting 5 people out the door, dressed in their "Sunday best" by 9 on a weekend morning!  That is never pretty.  The fact that I have started this blog, talking a lot about drinking wine, while being a faithful member of a southern Baptist church probably says a lot about me.  One thing I know it says for sure....I'm honest! ;)

Hanging out at home with the fam can really be a lot of fun, and extremely entertaining.  The boys have recently introduced me to this new sport, well it's new to me, called WWE Smackdown.  It goes like this, two super huge guys get in a cage type thing and try to kill each other using all kinds of tactics.  Kicking, punching, slapping, throwing to the ground, jumping on one another, it's all appears to me that the only rule is to win at all costs.   People pay money, get snacks like popcorn and cokes and sit outside the cage and cheer this on as if they were cheering for their favorite NBA team.  Hmmmm, interesting..."and so this is entertainment"? I ask.  All three boys are in agreement, this is VERY entertaining!  Today something similar to a cage match broke out in the living room.  All the elements were involved, kicking, punching, wrestling and a whole lot of yelling.  So, I thought to myself, well here we go, full entertainment right here at the house! Come on Bud, lets pop some popcorn and attend the cage match!  We don't even have to leave the house or buy a ticket! So I popped up a big bowl of microwave popcorn and poured a couple of sodas and we headed off to the living room for this new form of entertainment.  I'm excited, can't wait to see this cage match thing, up close and personal.  Of course, it's still going strong even with all the time it took me to make snacks.  There's plenty of kicking and hitting and screaming going on and someone may even be about to cry, this is exciting. Bud and I settle down in our comfy seats, in the front row no less, and watch for all of 1 minute when the action comes to a close.  All 3 boys stop and stand there staring at us?
"What are you doing" says the big one.
"Are you guys watching a movie or something" asks the little one.  As if we could watch a movie around that kind of chaos. Seriously.
"Nope, we are here for the WWE Smackdown!"  I say, so proud of myself and my new sports knowledge.  "Why is the action stopping, is this half time or something?"
3 boys with blank stares...really blank...deer in the headlights blank.  For once they are all three at a loss for words.  Strangely, they have stopped fighting too, and the reason for the cage match has escaped them completely.
The middle one throws out in a very cavalier statement as if nothing violent and out of the ordinary has just taken place, "well, you're already here and have popcorn so let's all watch a movie together." Good idea.

Score one for the parents! ;)

Today's wine is Red Truck.  It just says red wine on it, I think that means it's a table wine.  I never sit at the table for more than 3 minutes at a time so I'm going to rename it...walking wine. ;)

Please note..I am not a sommelier, in truth I know nothing about wine except that I like it.  I don't care if it costs $10 or $100, I choose based on the cuteness of the label only.  That's not entirely true, and earlier I did state that I was nothing if not the truth is, I really don't want to spend $100 on something to drink, I'd rather have a great pair of shoes or a new purse that I can enjoy for more than one wine hour. ;) So, my wine choices will be based on cuteness of label, and a reasonable price...enjoy!

Happy Saturday!

Friday, February 4, 2011

February 4, 2011 - Day 4 of Noschoolapalooza

Well, it's day 4 of noschoolapalooza and all of my kids are still alive...I view this as a major victory since they have been out of school for 4 days in the blizzard of the century!  Which, btw, we also had last year...busy century I guess. ;)  They have been sledding, riding the little 50 dirt bike around and going crazy in this razor thing we have, it's like a dune buggy for dirt.
They were given 1 very specific instruction from their dad on Tuesday morning,"don't get off the road, you can't really see where the road is, so just drive down the middle of what you think is the road.  Just stay the heck off of peoples grass!"
Ok, sounds easy enough, so off they went with their ski gear on and of course, helmets, because I did have some say in what was happening.  For 3 solid days they have been outside going up and down the street, towing each other on sleds and snowboards and basically having a blast.  I have taken 2 videos, from the porch..unless it gets above 0, I'm really not spending any time outside. ;)
Last night, we finally get to leave the neighborhood!  Wahoo!  Of course, I am ecstatic because I haven't left the house for more than 2 min since Monday night.  Stir crazy doesn't even begin to describe it.  As we are leaving the neighborhood we drive by the enormous sledding hill at the front of the addition, just so mom can see where the boys have been all week.  And, uh oh...what do we see? Tracks on the grass. I'm thinking oh dear, here it comes...the big explosion....the big what was the one thing I said not to do?  I look over at my husband, let's call him Bud, and his face is a little red, brow is furrowed and he's squinting at the grass with a look of disbelief on his face.
"Are those the razor tracks right there boys, in that grass?"  Total silence from the back seat.
"Boys!  Did you drive that razor thru the grass?"  Still no comment from the back seat, and I am cringing/laughing at how this is going.
And then the rampage begins,"I'm pretty sure I gave you one instruction, ONE, to not get that thing on the grass...and what did you do?  You went on the grass. Gah, you guys really piss me off sometimes." At this point he looks over at me, I'm guessing for some sort of support on this matter, but I am just sitting there snickering.  I'm thinking, welcome to my world buddy!
So, he continues on,"that really chaps my a*#!!
That statement is met with complete silence in the car.
Until the big kid throws out..."you should probably put something on that"
Then the middle kid chimes in..."maybe some carmex specially made for the buttocks"
And the little one in all his innocence...."ouch dad, you got a rash on your bum?  That sounds painful."

That did it, I'm done...I have burst into laughter so hard my cheeks are aching and I have tears running down my face!  That was some good discipline being handed down...reeeally impressive parenting.  Even Bud is laughing at this point, because really, how can you not laugh at that response?

Score one for the boys. ;)

Later Bud says to me, "I just don't understand why they don't understand, when I say to stay off the grass, I mean stay off the grass."  Really?  You don't understand that 3 boys ages 14, 11 and 8 are given an off road driving vehicle in the middle of a blizzard and can't seem to stay on the road, which no one can even see?  I don't understand why you don't understand that they don't understand.  It all makes perfect sense to me!

Happy Friday!  And, today's wine suggestion is Cupcake Chardonnay...I think it's a dessert wine, that's why there is a picture of a cupcake on the front. ;)  So, I'm going to make some dessert to go with it, maybe some homemade brownies...YUM!