The W(h)ine Hour..

Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.

So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!


Monday, February 14, 2011

Monday, February 14th....Valentine's Day & Boys

Valentines Day with 3 boys in the house sounds good, doesn't it?  No drama, no broken hearts, no messy crafty valentines.  Just the run of the mill ordinary candy valentines that a name can be quickly scribbled across and given out at school.  As usual, I have under estimated this situation.  Oh, the valentines were as expected, names written out quickly on stickers to go on tiny skittles bags for everyone in each class.  The rest of the day has had it's share of ups and downs.  It started off with me asking everyone if they have their valentines box/bag in their back packs for this afternoons party.  The little one is right on that, "yep mom, it's all packed up and ready to go!"  The middle slyly throws out, "my sack is ready."  There is a strange emphasis on the word sack.  The statement is met with some under the breath chuckling by the oldest and some quiet comments back that I can't hear, but which result in loud guffaw laughing from both of them.  Then the oldest adds, "I don't need a sack, no parties in middle school."  More snickering. Ummm, ok something is up here.  "Boys, what is going on?  Why are you making faces and laughing about a sack being ready to go to school?"  These questions can only be described as a colossal mistake on my part.  Apparently, this is referring to some sort of slang for a male "part".  Another word that is now on my "never say that again list...sack."  This is getting ridiculous, because that list grows by the day and pretty soon I will be stuck with about a 5 word vocabulary.  I have resolved today that I am going to start using the thesaurus a LOT for really big words to describe everyday things.  It won't be so easy to make a joke of any kind out of the word integument. ;)  Take that boys.

At school the two younger ones had parties and exchanged valentines with all of their classmates.  The little one comes home with a handmade card from a girl he calls his "girlfriend".  "Look mom, she drew a heart on here and it says I love you Adam."  Whoooaaaaa, whhaattt?  I'm trying not to over-react too quickly on this so I take a deep breath and say, "well, that's nice buddy, umm, why do you think she put I love you on it?  I mean, you're a little young for love or even a girlfriend, right?"  Now, I don't know that many 8 yr olds that have perfected the "you are a total dumb a@*, I can't believe you just said that" look, but this one has got it down pat and is throwing that look my way with the perfect amount of innocence and impishness.  Then he says, "well I didn't think we were official, but this note might have just changed that."  The big one (who is btw, the one he learned that look from) is rolling on the floor at this "official" statement.   I am trying to decide how big of a deal to make of this.  My limited years of experience with stuff like this have taught me that if I can keep my cool and blow stuff off it usually goes away on its own, so I just shrug my shoulders and walk away with this parting shot, "alrighty then, I guess you are a boyfriend now, that's big time."  About 5 minutes later he finds me and says, "maybe I don't really want to be someone's boyfriend, maybe I'll play the field for a little longer." Pahhaaa, guess big brother got to him after I walked away! Thanks big kid! :)

There was also some hurt feelings and an uncharacteristic amount of drama involved today.  Suffice it to say, kids can be mean and it stinks.  All I can do about it is give hugs along with chocolate covered strawberries and iced valentine cookies...I wish that was enough. 

Just a quick update...finally got the little guy out of his uniform last night.  All 4 boys were out having a rough game of driveway ball and he got whacked in the mouth, bled all over the front of it and has a fat lip.  This was not the way I wanted to get him out of it.  I would have chosen a much less drama filled way, like shredding it with scissors (and yes, that would have been less drama than the bloody mouth caused...not even kidding.)  Now I won't get to complete my experiment on how long it takes the teacher to say something about the uniform being worn every day to school.  Rats, I was kind of looking forward to that phone call. :)

Today's wine is actually a champagne, called Hello Kitty.  Yep, it's the exact Hello Kitty you are thinking about, unless you are a little friend of mine who calls it "Holla Kitty". :)  It's all pink and girlie, which is what Valentines day is really all about, isn't it?  All things pink, revolves around the girls, and if something sparkly is involved, all the better!  It comes with a little charm hanging around it's neck.  To all the guy readers...I would not recommend buying this with the idea that your getting drinks and gift in one, maybe switch that Hello Kitty charm out for something just a little more sparkly or forget the kitty, your sleeping in the doghouse. ;)

Happy Monday!

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