Remember that song you used to sing when you were in pre-school....one of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong. Can you tell which thing is not like the others, by the time I finish my song. That song was apparently written to describe my grown up self. Guess which thing here is not like the others? It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure it out, but here are a few clues.
10. Pink is my favorite color.
9. A great day of snow skiing is when I DON'T fall, not when I end up on my behind with a pile of snow up my nose and down my pants.
8. When at the pool my main goal is to get a tan not to see how many people I can annoy with my cannonball.
7. I don't enjoy talking about, smelling or making myself toot.
6. I can walk thru the house without touching anyone in any way, in fact I prefer it that way.
5. The only thing I "throw" is a fit, and that only happens when no one listens to me.
4. Any motorized vehicle I am on/in has a roof, door and windows and it is street legal.
3. I do not have 75 different names for #2 in the bathroom, and I never feel the need to talk about, put on display or make giant arm gestures describing #2's in the bathroom.
2. I can play any type of game or sport without trying my hardest to beat everyone else that is playing.
And, the number 1 reason I do not fit in here is.....
1. I don't have balls. ;) Btw, I've been looking for a big word to replace the word ball in my vocabulary so that no jokes can be made. So far I've tried, orb, globoid and rondure....some of the jokes that came back to me on those I cannot repeat here. ;)
The wine of the day is a box wine, Black Box merlot. Let me just say that the box 'O wine has come a loooong way over these past years. It's like having a tap right in your kitchen! I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but it sure is easy! Two drawbacks to the box wine, it's like 6 bottles in one box so you are stuck with that box for a really long time...choose wisely. And, there is no place for a crazy straw, so if it's been "that" kind of day this would not be a good choice!
The W(h)ine Hour..
Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.
So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!