The W(h)ine Hour..

Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.

So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

KC & My Sunshine Band!

This past weekend we loaded up the family truckster and headed northeast to Kansas City.  A few months ago Bud won tickets to a Royals game in a charity auction, and we were excited to explore a new city and see some baseball!  

Friday night when we arrived at the hotel that was included in the auction package, it was pretty clear that we wouldn't want to be walking around late at night.  On one side was beautiful downtown Kansas City, and the other?  Let's just say it was a little less pretty. ;) Bud and the middle head out to find some snacks and things for our room.  Since there were no convenience stores towards downtown, they headed the other way.  They drove in and right back out of two different ones before Bud found one he thought was safe enough to walk in, a Fast Trip.  They were gonna definitely going to make this a fast trip. ;)  When they walked back out here is what the middle noticed while in the Fast Trip for appox 2 minutes....they were selling weird looking pipe things in the window (Umm, that would be a bong), two people shopping in there had large knives on their belt, there was a paper with the headline "Armed Robbery at the Fast Trip" and the store clerk had a 9mm strapped to his belt in plain site.  I even want to know how he knew is was a 9mm.  That is one observant little kid.  When they were safely back in the car he rattled all of that off in true hyper spas middle kid speak, clearly a little nervous about all he just took in.  Bud, in an effort to calm him down, sees a respectable looking guy (at this point I think that probably means someone without a weapon) and says, "Look there's a white guy." The middle feeling some relief at this site sees another man walking in and says, "And there's a jalepeno."  What?  A who?  He immediately follows up with, "I mean hispanic, jeez dad....let's just get out of here!"  That fun incident was followed up by the 5 of us attempting to share a room with one queen size bed and a fold out couch.  The little had to sleep on a chair with it's ottoman wedged between it and the wall.  Needless to say it wasn't the best night's sleep any of us have ever had. ;)

Saturday night we headed to the Kansas City Royals stadium, which by the way has a huge crown on top of its jumbo score board.  This is my new favorite team. ;)  We spent all of pre game walking around this very cool stadium and playing in the kid zone; where they charge you $2 to run the 50 yard dash.  Genius.  So we spent about $50 on the younger two running, and some drunk guys made about $200 betting on how fast the little one would run it.  I should have gotten in on that action; there's a reason we call him dash. ;)

The game was great!  Our seats were right behind the Royals dugout so the view was awesome.  I mean who doesn't want to watch a bunch of young guys in tight baseball pants warming up right in front of them?  I mean, you could really see the field great. ;) The middle thought my comment at the game on the "view" was hilarious, "You are such a girl mom."  I take that as a huge compliment! :)  p.s. that's not his miller lite. ;)

 At one point late in the game the little two had conned dad into taking them back to the running and batting games and the big kid and I got some quality baseball bonding time in. :)  He also got a ball thrown to him from Melky Cabrera, our new favorite player.  Melky, which is first of all a stellar name, had a smile on his face during the whole game...even when he struck out.   He handed the opposing catcher his mask after dusting it off during a play at home, and just generally had a happy face.  I like people with a happy face. :))

The wine of the day is L.A. Cetto petite syrah.  On the way home we stopped at a little hole in the wall Mexican food restaurant for lunch.  It is my experience that these little eateries have the best Mexican food this side of the border, and this one did not disappoint.  Looking over the menu, the little one says, "Hola, Coma Esta?  See, now they'll think I'm Chinese."  What?  It appears we need to get our kids out of the stepford bubble a little more often. ;)

Happy Wednesday!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

If you see the crap fairy, please tell her I'd like a word.

I've been off the blog now for quite a some time.  I write long detailed hilarious blogs in my head on a daily basis and then sit at my computer for approximately one minute before someone "needs" me.  I've never been this popular in my life!  Too bad I didn't hold this same attraction in high school...that would have been fun!  Apparently I'm a late bloomer. ;)  Over the past weeks since I have actually gotten something out of my head onto this blog, I have played about a hundred games of dominoes, gin rummy (gin is an important part of that game if you are over 21), nursed kids thru extreme dehydration, blown my referee whistle at least 1000 times (that is NOT an exaggeration) and reminded my kids how to do their own laundry.  If it wasn't for that last thing, I might have gone full crazy by now! ;)  I'm not sure who thinks a 12 week break from school is a good idea, but I'd like to locate them so we can have a word.

Someone else I am seeking out to "have a word" with is the crap fairy.  There are many types of fairies that I adore.  The tooth fairy, for instance, she stops by the house picks up something gross and leaves cash!  That's my kind of fairy.  The crap fairy, on the other hand, stops by the house when I am not looking and drops off "stuff"....she leaves with nothing.  After my recent bout of total house clean out I can only guess that she comes daily.   After 3 large trips to the Good Will store and 2 dumpsters full of trash bags, this house is a crap free zone.  I have laid out a plan to put the family on a 24 hour watch schedule to ensure the little bugger doesn't stop by to make any more deposits.  When I was finished explaining this stroke of genius to my children the little one says, "Ok, right on mom.  You can have the first watch."  Everyone thought this was hilarious until they noticed the crazy cleaning out gleam in my eye....this is serious.  The reason being, we have decided to sell our house.  It is rather large with an even larger, high maintenance yard (insert grimace here).  This seemed like a great idea (afterall, it is lovely) when we were home a lot and the big kid was happy to hop on the riding mower and take care of it for a nominal fee.  Now, we are constantly on the go to tennis matches, drills and lessons plus baseball practices and games.  Yard work has become our greatest nemesis.  I know, I thought my greatest nemesis was the crap fairy too, but apparently I underestimated the power of 105 degrees and a weed eater. ;)  So we have cleaned from top to bottom and side to side and our house is now for sale!  We are looking for something on little more than the size of a postage stamp that is still in our school district, and has enough bedrooms to keep the 5 of us at some distance from each other.  Well, at least keep the 3 at some distance from the 2. ;)  When all of this will take place, only God knows.  This is why they call it faith. :)  When a friend asked my husband if he was dreading the actual moving part he said, "Not really, by the time we move we won't have anything left to move."  Awesome!  Take that crap fairy!

The wine of the day is House Wine white.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to need some wine in the house in order to keep my sense of humor for the next few months. ;)  I'm also betting on some funny stories on trying to prepare a house to show with three boys and two dogs.  My only hope is that I can find some time in between vacuuming's to write them down. :)

Happy Wednesday!