The W(h)ine Hour..

Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.

So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!


Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Wednesday, February 9th....It's a crazy straw kind of day!

This day started off with the most beautiful peaceful morning.  Outside, snow was falling in big romantic flakes and I lay in bed thinking...this is going to be a great day at home with my boys.  Just enjoying the snow all curled up in a big blanket by the fire sipping hot tea..ahh, so peaceful.  Then reality set in like a bad perm I once got back in 1985!  There was some sort of ruckus happening out in the living room, I couldn't tell exactly what was happening, but I dragged myself out of my fantasy world of peace to investigate.  The little two were up early.  Apparently the fact that school was cancelled and alarms had been turned off didn't phase them in the least.  They were yelling at each other, "stupid, idiot, butt, stupid butt" get the picture.  I was all ready with my "you shouldn't call people names speech" when suddenly I decided to take a different approach.  I can't really justify in any way why I thought this was a good idea, all I can say is that at that particular time this is what came out of my mouth, "moron, dimwit, dummy, lamebrain, dunce, dingbat."  The boys continued on with their name calling and the three of us sang along like a three part harmony of ridiculous insults!  All at once, they both stopped and looked at me rather curiously and the middle one says, "mom, what are you doing?" I just looked at them all innocence, "oh, I thought we were playing a game called who has the funniest dumb names."  He answers, "Well then, you win cuz lamebrain is the funniest thing I've heard!" :)  Oops, that one is probably going to come back to bite me later. ;)

The day continued on with numerous cage matches, I won't bore you with those details, just suffice it say, there was hitting, kicking, throwing of objects, crying and even a little blood involved.   Just a regular day here in crazy town.  At one point we all took a nice break from the action to watch Justin Beiber on Ellen.  That resulted in the little one asking the big one what a tampax is during a commercial break.  I slid down further under my blanket on the couch totally leaving the big out there on that limb all by himself.  He very calmly says, "you probably need to ask mom that sometime when I'm not around."  Thu thud thud thud, that's the sound of me being thrown under the bus.  Thankfully, I was able to distract the little guy with a yo momma joke I pulled right out of my...well, you know where and then Ellen was back on!  Phew, that was a close one, I am in no way ready to have that talk with an 8 yr old on our 700th snow day of the year.  I'm gonna save that one up for another day. ;)

Finally, this afternoon it warmed up just enough for the children to go outside and get some much needed fresh air.  I almost locked the door behind them. ;)  They were having a ball out there in the razor and on the dirt bike, zipping up and down the street, sledding and having a blast, when IT arrives.  One of our fun hater neighbors has apparently hired a tractor/bulldozer thingie to come plow the snow off of the street.  Well, this isn't going over too big with 3 boys who want to play in said snow.  I see the three of them retreat to the garage for a pow wow of strategic planning.  They come up with a 3 part plan that consists of one on the dirt bike, one in the razor and one making ammo.  I have to admit, it's a well thought out plan and each participant knows his duties and is carrying them out to the fullest.  The big one is riding around in the razor.  As soon as the tractor makes a pass and leaves a pile of snow, he is driving thru it dragging it back on the road and basically creating a snow cloud behind him that looks like the fallout from a nuclear explosion.  I can see the grin on his face from the kitchen window, where I am watching this whole thing go down.  The middle one is on the dirt bike.  He is doing drive by's on the tractor throwing snowballs at it every time they pass, which I can tell he is finding hilarious and if he hits his target I can seriously hear his belly laugh in the house.  These boys are in boy heaven.  The poor little guy is stuck on the ammo, and that is really fun for a little bit, but after awhile that gets old and he starts throwing all his ammo at this brothers.  Then he's inside....quickly. ;)   Listening to his belly laugh every time the middle lands a snowball on the tractor is enough for me to let this go on a little longer.  Finally, the tractor guy throws in the towel and heads for the hills, I don't blame him, these three are a formidable adversary and taking them on isn't for the faint at heart...pansy. ;)  I'll be sorry I let this go on for so long when I get the phone call from the neighbor about my little hoodlums.

The wine for today is Royal Bitch.  Sorry, for the profanity, but that's what is on the label and that is what I'm going to be if this noschoolapalooza 2 goes on for too much longer.  Seemed like a good choice. ;)  Notice the crown...that is really why I picked this one, I mean what girl doesn't love a good crown!

Happy Wednesday!

Short p.s.....just found out school is cancelled again tomorrow. I'm gonna have to rename this blog, tales from the crypt soon. ;)

1 comment:

traci said...

nice wine! wish I had that here... noschoolapalooza sucks. royally. and not in the good crown kind of way.