The W(h)ine Hour..

Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.

So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!


Monday, February 7, 2011

Monday, February 7th...I think we've hit a new level!

What a glorious day!  The sun is shining, the snow is melting, and all the kiddies are back in school!  There is a collective sigh of relief happening all over this town today, it seems noschoolapalooza is over!  But, wait...hold on there just a minute, there is something happening.  It's all over the news, it's BIG drama, it's got people rushing to the store and loading up on water, milk and bread.  It's the....wait for it, wait for's THE STORM OF THE CENTURY!  Ummm, hang on here, didn't we just have that last week?  Did I miss something?  Did an entire century go by already?  It felt like a century, sure but I think it's only been a week.  The weather guys might want to start calling these things the storm of the week, it just makes more sense.  We're expecting 6-10'' on Wednesday with high winds and freezing temps. Great. Super.  Noschoolapalooza 2 - rock on.

Quick update...the middle did not relieve us of any dogs yesterday with the new red rider triple pump carbine action two hundred shot range air rifle bb gun.  Didn't even get himself any birds or squirrels.  He was extremely responsible, uncharacteristically mature, always had on his safety glasses, only shot at the target, and was careful with the safety.  Interesting, why the sudden growing up of this one?  He is my fly by the seat of his pants, live life to the fullest, every moment has a party to offer kinda kid!  I am shocked at first, but as the afternoon moves on I become truly amazed at the wonderful, thoughtful mature young man he is becoming.  I almost feel a tear.  And then the super bowl commercials come on, and I am yanked back out of my revelry.  It all started with the Teleflora commercial..."dear Kim, your rack is unreal".  I hear that and right away realize some damage control is in order, so I throw out "A rack, haha, that's the thing red necks put in their trucks to hold their guns."  The big one is not buying that, and is laughing behind a pillow.  The middle one in all seriousness says, "I don't know anything about that mom, but he's referring to her boobs."  Referring?  Really.  This very serious statement is accompanied with the universal hand sign for boobs.  Probably don't have to explain that.  Well, great, everyone here knows all about the female body, that is fabulous.  That blows over fairly quickly, because it was really no big deal to anyone but me. ;)  Then comes the pepsi max commercial.  A young couple are on a date and she is wondering how much money he makes, if he loves his mother, if he wants kids, if he's "the one" and he is sitting there thinking I want to sleep with her....over and over and over.  There are peals of laughter all over the room, the hubby and big kid are about to fall out of their chairs laughing so hard and the middle, who is laying on the floor, is giggling in complete excitement..that he gets the joke.  I am cringing, seriously, this is exactly what I am trying to teach them not to be like, I want them to be suppportive and sweet and caring and blah blah blah.  Doesn't matter what I want or how I teach it, they are boys and that is how they think.  Btw, if I had been watching that without them I would have doubled over laughing too. :))  When the last Go Daddy commercial came on heavily insinuating that the girls were naked walking to the set you would have thought the middle kid had won the lottery!  He was really excited to see how that one ended, and slightly disappointed when it ended before it ended! Off he ran for the computer to hit the site and see for himself how that wrapped up.  He came back a few minutes later with complete disappointment in his voice, "forget about it big brother, they weren't really naked, they had some sort of something on."
Thank God all the boys were in bed when Elizabeth Hurley came on talking about her Brazilian wax job, I don't even know what that was a commercial for, and I certainly didn't feel like explaining the nuances of a good Brazilian wax to my 3 sons.
Guru's of the world of advertising...there are a lot of things out there that are really funny when you are at the local martini bar with your close friends on a Friday night, but those same things when said to a very broad audience that may or may not have been consuming alcohol of any kind often loose their punch.  Maybe try running that thru the ol' filter before firing it out there for about a billion people to see.
It would really help us moms out. ;)

The wine of the day is called Layer Cake!  It's a Shiraz, it's got a cake on the front so I'm thinking it is another dessert wine. ;)  Now I'm thinking of all the delicious sweets I might like to have with it later.  Pretty soon I'll be writing a blog about fat pants and girdles. ;)

Happy Monday!

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