The W(h)ine Hour..

Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.

So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Wednesday, March 2nd.....Fire! Fire!

Some days can be a little busy around here between the hours of 3 and 9pm.  Then there are other days that can only be described as full on crazy.  Yesterday, was one of the more manic days.  Oh, it started off normal enough with the usual picking up and dropping off planned out.  Bud and I had the tag team maneuver's planned out to the minute.  Everyone had their marching orders all right, you need this and this and need to be ready at this time and you need to pick up here and drop off here...blah blah blah.  That is what I might as well have been saying.  As usual, just when I think I have everything under control and perfectly planned out to my specifications, the good Lord steps in to remind me that the illusion of control is just that, an illusion.

Once I had finally gathered all three boys from school and tennis we head towards the dentist.  You know how kids just love to keep up with their dental hygiene, so this trip was filled with all types of positive and encouraging comments. ha.ha.ha. In case you missed it, there is a LOT of sarcasm right there. ;)  About a 1/2 mile from the dentist I hear this horrendous noise and immediately start looking around to see whose car is making that sort of racket.  The big one says, "Umm, mom.....I think that's your car."  What?  Nuh uh, my car doesn't make noises like that!  I go a little bit further and notice that the obnoxious noise is indeed following me.  Maybe the big kid is right.   Oh well, it's probably nothing.  Another 10th of a mile and the warning lights start going off, they are flashing up there in my little display faster than I can say, "Oh crap, I think somethings wrong here."  Traction control off, A/C off, reduce speed, engine too hot, add oil, slow down, and finally shut engine off NOW!  What the heck?  Which one?  You just gave me 15 different instructions in less than 10 seconds!  So of course, I push it the last 10th of a mile.  I am determined to make it to the dentist parking lot.   I mean seriously, I can't turn my car off right here, I have three boys and a trunk full of backpacks, tennis rackets, baseball bags, baseball clothes, cleats, and even a loose athletic cup or two.  That just doesn't stop in mid-action people.  All three of my boys are going into full panic mode, "Turn it off! Turn it off!" is being chanted from the back seat.  The big one sitting next to me is wide eyed and white knuckled.  And I am calmly putzing along with 7 different warning beepers going off and all kinds lights flashing saying, "it's fine, no worries, we can make it to the dentist, no problem."  The big one isn't buying it, "Your gonna get us all killed!  We need to get out of this car NOW!"  Apparently, I have taught them nothing...come on boys, stop it with the panic button already!  It takes a lot more than a few beepers and warning messages to fly my skirts up. ;)  I finally get parked in the dentist parking lot and everyone bails out like its the stinking titanic, I'm rolling my eyes, still going on with "it's fine, no big deal, look we are right on time for your dentist appointments. ;)  They all three look at me as if I have lost my mind because there is smoke coming from under the hood and a strange burning smell surrounding us.  Uh-oh.  The middle one, my most curious little creature,  is peaking under the front tire, "I see a little smoke, and it's smells real hot.   I think it's your brakes."  The little one is jumping around nervously yelling, "Fire!  Fire!"  The big one, now the picture of serenity says, "pop the hood, let's take a look."  Ummm, I don't think so, that might be a little warm under there.  Let's all go inside and get clean teeth, shall we! :)  

After 30 minutes on the phone with my mom to arrange a pick up for us, Bud to re-arrange the rest of the evenings drop offs and pick ups, and the roadside assistance people there is a tow truck on the way and we have no cavities!  The tow truck driver tells me it will be a couple of hours, and wants to know if I will be waiting with the vehicle.  Ummm, probably not.  If I sit here with these 3 for two hours we will miss 2 practices, and I will be checking in to the psych ward of the hospital across the street.  I think I'll just go ahead and take my athletic cups and go. :))  

The wine of the day is a Sineann Red Table Wine, because we had the distinct and unusual pleasure of having dinner at the table with the whole family!  While enjoying a nice peaceful family meal, the big one starts spouting out details of his day including exerts from the "sexting" assembly he attended.   Whhaaaatttt?  Jeez, teenager, couldn't you wait until the little ones were in bed before your filled me in on all the latest slang terms?  Pour me another glass bud, this is turning into a crazy straw kind of night! ;)

Happy Wednesday!

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