The W(h)ine Hour..

Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.

So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!


Monday, March 7, 2011

Monday, March 7th...Why?

Why? Why must everything end in why? Isn't that stage supposed to end shortly after they are about 3 years old? It seems that all three of my boys are stuck in the "why" phase. Oh sure, it's different than it used to be, they are no longer asking why the sky is blue and the grass is green. We have moved on to a different kind of "why".

  • You need to brush your teeth. Why?
  • You need to do your homework. Why?
  • No, you can't back my car out right now. Why?
  • You need to hop in the shower. Why?

When your kids are little and are asking why things work a certain way, they take whatever you say as truth and are done. At this new stage of "why" there is an immediate follow up argument that is locked and loaded and ready to fire the minute the "no" is out of my mouth. Are they really this quick? Or do they plan all of this out ahead of time...I wonder. No, I really don't wonder, I know exactly what is happening here.;)
  • No, you can't use your brother for target practice.  Why?  He's all bundled up and has goggles on.
  • No, you can't pay your brother to jump in the 45 degree pool fully dressed.  Why?  He said he doesn't mind.
  • No, you can't climb on the roof to shoot baskets.  Why?  We're video taping trick shots.
  • No, you can't play tackle football in the living room.  Why?  We have helmets on.
  • No, you can't have my phone battery.  Why?  Your phone battery is nuclear and if we hook it up with wire and use a kleenex to set it on fire there will be an explosion, it's like a science experiment.
Do they really think these arguments, however well thought out and intellectual they might be, will make me change my mind?  I think they do, they really believe if they can just make me see the sensibility of their reasoning that I will cave.  News flash boys...I don't change my mind.   I've been arguing my side of every story for longer than the three of you combined have been alive.  And, yes that is more than 26 years.  Thank you so much for pointing that out, middle. ;) I find myself often saying pretty loudly (which is code for yelling;)....BECAUSE I SAID SO!  Then I burst out laughing because that makes me sound like my mother. ;)  Parenting tip....when you are trying to be authoritative and taken seriously, don't start laughing.  I'm going to have to come up with a new phrase of my own that will shut down the arguments.  One that will keep me from laughing at myself.  I've decided to try this, delivered in a regal way with my head held high as if I have a crown perched on my head, "I am what you might call the queen mother, and my word is law, and you, little people, will obey the law."  I wonder who will burst out laughing on that one first, them or me?  The middle would call that a science experiment. ;)  My hypothesis is that it will be a tie. :)  It will at least catch them off guard and redirect their devious little minds for half a second.  Then they will quietly disappear and a little bit later I'll hear foot steps on the roof. ;)  BOOOOOYSSS!!!!

The big one played in his first varsity tennis tournament today.  He did pretty well against some stiff competition.  On our way to dinner he was telling us all about the day.   He said the kid who won is probably sponsored by Babolet he was so good.  The little one says, "He's probably sponsored by Walmart."  The big one smirks back, "No one is sponsored by Walmart."  Little guy looks out the window, and in his very most sarcastic voice says, "Exactly."  Nice slam by the 8 yr old. ;)

The wine for the day is Frog's Leap merlot in honor of my most wonderful mother.  I'm quite sure it took a multitude of bottles for her to make it thru raising me.  That whole "I don't change my mind thing" probably wasn't the most endearing trait in this pig tailed little girl.  It's serving me quite well now! :)

Happy Monday!

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