There might be just a hint of sarcasm in the title today. ;) Things started to head down hill yesterday when the little one walked in from the bus and announced, "I think I have pink eye." Ohhh great, that is gross and so contagious. "Why do you think that little guy?" He comes over, gets right up in my face, opens his eyes reeeeallll wide and says, "This one is watering a lot and hurts and there is SNOT in the corner." As I jump about 3 feet back from him he follows that up with, "I didn't stick my hands down my pants and rub my eye's or anything. Promise." Ummm, what? The fact that you are telling me you did not do that pretty much ensures that you did. Awesome. Looks like another phone call might be coming from his teacher, those are always so much fun. ;) Of course, I had my usual reaction to any news such as this and told him he probably just had some allergies or something and to go play, "I'll check it later." Secretly I told the other two boys to steer clear of gross germ boy over there and DO NOT touch your face for any reason. I mean, seriously, I can't have the whole house with gross poop eyes. ;) When a healthy dose of Benedryl didn't clear that up over night, I decided a trip to the doctor was in order. I also decided that in the event that he was indeed infected with a nasty case of conjunctivitis some serious cleaning was in order. So I spent the morning scrubbing toilets, mopping floors, wiping eye snot and having a love affair with my washing machine. ;) Like I said...just another day in paradise.
The doc we saw today was not our usual pediatrician, but was a sweet older man who took one look at the little's eye and said, "Oh, I can see why you're here." Just to make sure there was no misunderstanding the little one shoots right out, "I didn't stick my hands down my pants and rub my eye's." It's always my favorite when your kids make you look really stupid in front of the doctor; this won't be the last time he does this to me today. The kind doctor does a thorough examination and says it is not pink eye and asks me, "Has he been congested?" Yes. "Has he been sneezing?" Uh, yeah. "Has he been coughing?" Ummm, maybe? "Is he always this wheezy?" Oh crap, I have failed this one...big time. He tells me the little one has a raging sinus infection and needs both an oral and eye drop antibiotic plus an inhaler every 4 hours. Of course, being the really great mom that I am, I immediately try to deflect, "Well, if the Zyrtec I put out for him every morning wasn't still on the counter when he left for school, he probably would have the allergies under better control." As if an 8 yr old needs to be responsible for this. Well, it sounded like a good argument in my head. ;) As the doctor is writing out the prescriptions and trying hard not to laugh at me, the little one says, "Remember that one time when I was throwing up a bunch and you gave me that Bon Jovi medicine? That was so gross." The what medicine? Oh my gosh, could I look like a bigger idiot of a mom today? The answer to that question is a resounding...no. "You mean the Pepto Bismol?" He says, "Oh, Pepto Bismol, that stuff is really weird." Oh yeah? Well, so is this conversation we are having. ;) The doctor hands me the prescriptions and says, "He's not contagious but I have put some refills on the eye drop prescription for you. Just in case you don't wash your hands well after you put them in his eye." HA! :)) I think he's read this situation all wrong, really I am very on top of things...usually. ;)
The wine of the day is Camelot chardonnay. This princess has some serious adjusting of her crown to do, it tends to slide a little sideways when one is bent over the mop bucket. Tomorrow we will all get to see a real prince marry his princess! All of us everyday princesses will have to step away from the washing machine, prop that crown proudly on our heads and enjoy a moment of royalty.
The W(h)ine Hour..
Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.
So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!