Goodbye's

Today was the last day of school.  The little is done with 2nd grade.  The middle is done with elementary school.  The big one has completed middle school.  Oh. My. Gosh. We have just completed the fasted 9 months of my life, I can't believe I am saying this but....time is flying by!  It's moving at some sort of hyper speed that is going to have my kids all grown up before I blink three more times.  And I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I love my bigger kids, love them!  They are so much fun, but growing up, especially for boys, means growing apart and that is tough to take.  It's what they are supposed to do and my head totally gets that, but my heart isn't quite ready for that yet.  It's like there is a war going on inside me that has me waffling between laughing and crying...it's frustrating.  I really like the laughing better, so inch by inch I'm catching my heart up so that we are all laughing together. :)

This evening the big kid and I had some time to hang out together, that is a blessing.  I asked him how he was feeling about the end of middle school.  He said, "I'm ok with it.  It feels weird to be done, but I'm excited to be going to high school next year.  Still a lot of things have happened during the past three years.  Remember when I threw up on my desk the first day of 6th grade?  And you brought me clean clothes and made me stay all day with barf on my shoes?"  Oh great.....well, he can just add that to the list of things he'll need to tell his therapist one day. ;)  He continued on, "I'll never forget Coach from this year and how she helped me decide between tennis and baseball.  She was always there for me even when I was acting like a fool on the court.  But, the hardest part of being done with that school was saying good bye to the special kids today."  He has used one of his electives the last two years to help in the special education class.  Working with those kids every day for two years has forged some serious bonds.  He told me he started crying today when he had to say goodbye to them. I'm sure he will be thrilled that I just shared that.....he can add that to his "how my mom screwed me up" list too. ;)  Each one of those kids gave him a big hug, one of them said, "I'll never forget you Big kid."  Another one told him he was their favorite.  I think the one that hurt the worst was when the little guy who calls him Gray (no idea why, it is no where near his real name) said, "Hey Gray, you gonna work with me today?  Wanna work with me?"  The big kid was on his way to graduation when he stopped in to say goodbye, so there was no working together today.  His eyes started tearing up while he was telling me about it, so I know it is really weighing on his heart.  I was trying to come up with some sage words of advice when he says, "It will be ok, I'll be able to go by there next year and say hi to all of them sometimes and eventually they will all be at the high school and I'll get to see them there."  Well, I have nothing to add to that...clearly he is more mature than I am.  He's going to do just fine in high school next year. :)

The little one's take on all this graduation and ending of school and blah blah blah goes like this.  "I don't know what all the big fuss is about...it's over, so what, now it's summer and then school will start again.  Jeeez, what's the whooptee do about that?"  Leave it to him to cut things right to the quick.  Then he pulls out his report card and is reading it over and finally says, "APPARENTLY I don't follow directions very well."  And I just spit water out my nose. :))  Thankfully it wasn't the wine hour yet, cuz that would have hurt a little bit. ;)  At least he learned a big word like "apparently", the year wasn't a total loss.  :)

The wine of the day is Kistler Pinot Noir.  No, it's not in honor of the big kid's first kiss last night, they only held hands.  At least that's his story and he's sticking to it.  It's my goal to make those "my mom's mistakes" lists as long as possible.  I'm pretty sure that last tidbit of info will be at least 3 entries. :)  Wahooo!!

Happy Last Day of School Friday!