School mornings at my house are crazy, as I'm sure they are at every house around the world where children reside. If you have someone else besides yourself to get ready and out the door at a certain time in the morning you are going to have chaos, it's just the way it is. Three different schools this year means three different drop off times at three different locations, timing is crucial. I would liken our morning routine to a house of cards, if one little thing goes outside it's schedule line the whole thing is coming down.
This morning I woke up with a start to a pitch black house and rain falling softly outside. My sleepy brain was in total disarray and it took me a couple of minutes to even figure out where I was. Then with a panic I realized I was in my bed and I didn't hear the stirrings of any little people. The clock said 6:48, we need to leave the house by 7:15. Yikes! I flew out of bed and down the hall to the boys bedrooms fully expecting them to be finishing up showers and getting dressed. What did I find down there? More darkness and total silence. I went from room to room and each door I opened resulted in the same thing, a sleeping boy snuggled way down under the covers. At this point I'm thinking maybe my clock was wrong, I mean it is completely pitch dark outside. Crap, am I having a crazy moment and it's really two in the morning? Because this has actually happened to me before. I started running around the house like a lunatic looking at each clock which I have to get real close to and squint my eyes because I have not put my contacts in yet. I'm quite sure this looked like a scene right out of Modern Family, just missing Gloria's funny accent, and some of her other attributes. ;) After much running and squinting with a few stubbed toes, curse words (cuz that really hurts) and a graceful trip over the dogs' water bowl (that leaves a nice mess), I decide that it is indeed 6:53 and the house of cards that is our morning rush hour is in a pile on the floor. After the last 5 minutes of what can only be described as an awake nightmare, I'm in no mood to play 52 card pick up. I can see only one course of action here....head back to bed. Two hours later we all got up and I heard this...
YOU ARE THE BEST MOM EVVAAAA!! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! For letting us sleep in!!
I told them they could pay me back by coming home from school and doing their homework without argument and not fight with each other. Suddenly, it's like three baby deer in the headlights. Maybe I accidentally switched to French or German? I am definitely not speaking a language any one of the three of them can understand. Finally the Little breaks the stunned silence with, "I'll try to do some of my homework during inside recess, but that's the best I can do." What is he a used car salesman? Alright you three truants, in the car. ;)
The wine of the day is...well it's whatever they are serving at the poolside cocktail party I'm going to tonight with my boyfriend. It's nice to have boyfriend that still takes you to parties even after almost 18 years of marriage. ;)
The W(h)ine Hour..
Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.
So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!