The W(h)ine Hour..

Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.

So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!


Sunday, September 25, 2011

Go on...tell it like it is

Most kids are pretty good about getting the truth out there, hence sayings like "out of the mouths of babes" and "kid's say the darndest things".  The Little one at this house has honed this gift to an art form.  He will absolutely tell it like it is and most of the time has better delivery than any stand up comic.  ;)

On the way back from picking up the Big from tennis practice recently the little is happily ensconced in the back seat playing on his itouch.  Once inside the neighborhood the big asks if he can drive the rest of the way home.  These baby steps towards him becoming a driver are more for me than him; the kid was born with an innate sense of handling all things motorized.  The Big and I switch sides and as we are waiting for him to adjust the seat, the steering wheel, all the mirrors and the radio (seriously, we are going approximately 200 yards;), I hear the little one talking to himself in the back seat.  He's speaking just loud enough so that we can all hear him, "Dear Lord, please don't let me die today.  I haven't even gotten to double digits yet!"  Nice vote of confidence. ;)  The Big kid looks over at me and says, "Does he really think I'm going to kill us between here and the driveway?  Awesome."

Later that evening I went to tuck the Big kid in for the night.  Surprisingly, he was on the phone.  Anyone who has ever met a teenager knows why this was such a huge surprise. ;)  I asked him if he was really on the phone?  Like for real?  Talking?  Out loud?  Wow!  Who are you talking to?  It was a girl.  Whoa, this is big!  Talking out loud for real on the phone to a girl?  Maybe there's hope for him yet. ;)  I quickly duck out of there and leave him to his phone call and go tuck the little one in.  As I'm giving him a big hug and kiss to send him off to dream land I tell him, "The Big kid is on the phone....with a girl!"  He looks at me a little confused and then says, "On purpose? Are you sure it's not just the pizza place and they think HE'S a girl, you know one time when he was babysitting us he ordered pizza and the guy called him m'am."  This statement is followed by howls of laughter...from both of us. ;)  This is the same kid that coined the phrase "jerk ass" when he was 4 and used to yell from his car seat "Moooom, the Middle is jackin wiff me."  I hope he never looses the ability to "tell it like it is", it's quite refreshing unless, of course, he is commenting on my wrinkles or any added poundage. ;)

The wine for today is Fat Bastard Shiraz.  I'm pretty sure this is a phrase that the Little will throw out one day, probably used in the right context in the middle of church or some other equally inappropriate location. Awesome. ;)

Happy Sunday!

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