The W(h)ine Hour..

Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.

So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!


Thursday, November 3, 2011

You should see the other guy

A couple of days ago the middle and little were playing outside.  They pulled out every single size and kind of ball we have and a couple of baseball bats.  This turned in to something of a science experiment...which ball goes the furthest when hit with a baseball bat.  This hypothesis worked just fine with the bouncy ball, the baseball, the tennis ball and even the football; then they decided to try a basketball.  As many of you may have already guessed or might expect, it didn't go very well.  The middle took a full swing at the basketball which absorbed all of the power and "rebounded" the bat right back into his face.

This is how that turned out.  Yikes!  Only by the grace of God does the kid still have an eyeball.  Needless to say, he got a hooky day from school.  Although, I hate to use the word "hooky" as it implies something fun, and there is nothing fun about this.  As he was preparing to take his banged up self back to school he was trying to decide what his "story" should be.  He thought it would be way to embarrassing to tell the other kids he hit himself in the face with a bat.   I suggested he tell people he was in a huge fight with some massive 8th grader concluding with "you should see the other guy."
"That statement is a little used up mom, I've got think of something more creative."  So the five of us sat down and constructed a few tall tales.  And we came up with some doozies...flipped his dirt bike, snuck the razor out and rolled, suck the razor out and rolled while trying to cross the highway, jumped off the roof and landed on a rock (I don't know about that one, must have been offered up by the little ;), and my personal favorite offered up by the teenager, "Just tell everyone I punched you in the face, that's awesome."  Umm, not really that awesome.  It's always a good idea to have a family meeting to make up lies...A+ parenting at it's best. ;)  He finally decided to tell the truth because maybe it would keep some other kid from trying to see how far a basketball will go when hit with a bat.  Smart kid. :)
Interestingly, the verse from the devotional book he and I are reading together last night was "You are kind, Lord, so good and merciful.  You protect ordinary people, and when I was helpless, you saved me and treated me so kindly that I don't need to worry anymore." Psalm 116:5-7.  His one eye got huge and I watched his face light up, "What?  Wow!  Did you hear that verse mom?  He protected my eye!  And maybe he's going to use me to protect someone else from doing the same dumb thing!  This is awesome!"  Wow is right buddy, how did you get so smart and so perfectly centered on what is true and right?  Impressive!
So today he is at school getting the sympathy attention from all the ladies.  I'm expecting a call from him (or child protective services) at any moment, because when the attention wears off he is going to be needing some more Motrin and an ice pack. ;)

The wine of the day is Left Foot Charley pinot blanc; in honor of my left eye middle kid. ;)  That kid is definitely going to make me want a glass or get a gray hair or have a heart attack....hopefully the first one will stave off the latter two. ;)

Happy Thursday!

No comments: