The W(h)ine Hour..

Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.

So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

If you see the crap fairy, please tell her I'd like a word.

I've been off the blog now for quite a some time.  I write long detailed hilarious blogs in my head on a daily basis and then sit at my computer for approximately one minute before someone "needs" me.  I've never been this popular in my life!  Too bad I didn't hold this same attraction in high school...that would have been fun!  Apparently I'm a late bloomer. ;)  Over the past weeks since I have actually gotten something out of my head onto this blog, I have played about a hundred games of dominoes, gin rummy (gin is an important part of that game if you are over 21), nursed kids thru extreme dehydration, blown my referee whistle at least 1000 times (that is NOT an exaggeration) and reminded my kids how to do their own laundry.  If it wasn't for that last thing, I might have gone full crazy by now! ;)  I'm not sure who thinks a 12 week break from school is a good idea, but I'd like to locate them so we can have a word.

Someone else I am seeking out to "have a word" with is the crap fairy.  There are many types of fairies that I adore.  The tooth fairy, for instance, she stops by the house picks up something gross and leaves cash!  That's my kind of fairy.  The crap fairy, on the other hand, stops by the house when I am not looking and drops off "stuff"....she leaves with nothing.  After my recent bout of total house clean out I can only guess that she comes daily.   After 3 large trips to the Good Will store and 2 dumpsters full of trash bags, this house is a crap free zone.  I have laid out a plan to put the family on a 24 hour watch schedule to ensure the little bugger doesn't stop by to make any more deposits.  When I was finished explaining this stroke of genius to my children the little one says, "Ok, right on mom.  You can have the first watch."  Everyone thought this was hilarious until they noticed the crazy cleaning out gleam in my eye....this is serious.  The reason being, we have decided to sell our house.  It is rather large with an even larger, high maintenance yard (insert grimace here).  This seemed like a great idea (afterall, it is lovely) when we were home a lot and the big kid was happy to hop on the riding mower and take care of it for a nominal fee.  Now, we are constantly on the go to tennis matches, drills and lessons plus baseball practices and games.  Yard work has become our greatest nemesis.  I know, I thought my greatest nemesis was the crap fairy too, but apparently I underestimated the power of 105 degrees and a weed eater. ;)  So we have cleaned from top to bottom and side to side and our house is now for sale!  We are looking for something on little more than the size of a postage stamp that is still in our school district, and has enough bedrooms to keep the 5 of us at some distance from each other.  Well, at least keep the 3 at some distance from the 2. ;)  When all of this will take place, only God knows.  This is why they call it faith. :)  When a friend asked my husband if he was dreading the actual moving part he said, "Not really, by the time we move we won't have anything left to move."  Awesome!  Take that crap fairy!

The wine of the day is House Wine white.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to need some wine in the house in order to keep my sense of humor for the next few months. ;)  I'm also betting on some funny stories on trying to prepare a house to show with three boys and two dogs.  My only hope is that I can find some time in between vacuuming's to write them down. :)

Happy Wednesday!

1 comment:

todd carr said...

Happy Wednesday,

sounds like you are having a busy summer, good timez! I was writing a ditty on sugar fairy's today but crap fairy's sound way more interesting. good luck w/ the move...stay "hydrated"