The W(h)ine Hour..

Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.

So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!


Thursday, June 2, 2011

Summer Break?

It's day 3 of summer break and I am seriously questioning the sanity of the genius that decided to call this a "break".  I think that maybe they were confused about the definition of the word itself.  My activity level has gone from zero to sixty in about 2.4 seconds.  And I use the word "my" quite loosely, because none of these activities have to do with ME.  Not that it has to be all about me, but maybe just a little would be nice. ;)  I actually caught myself counting how many days were left of this so called break after the first day.  Not good.  By the way, there's a LOT...a whole lot, I won't even bother writing down how many.  Suffice to say, there will be a lot of research done for this blog over the next 12 weeks. ;)

Today I loaded up the children and we headed to the local sporting goods store.  The middle and little need new shoes.  I guess their shoes being two sizes too small explains why they have been hobbling around here whining about sore feet for 2 weeks.  When someone starts complaining about small shoes my general answer is, why don't you try cutting your toenails and get back to me.  The middle accused me of stunting his growth by not letting his feet grow to their full potential.  Ha...whatever. ;) Picking out new athletic shoes for boys should be a quick and easy task...right?  After 1 hour (not even kidding about that) the little was still trying on different shoes and the middle was complaining that the store didn't have anything cool.  We finally decided on some....or I finally said I am leaving, you can come with me and bring a pair of shoes for me to purchase or you can stay here and keep trying on, your choice.  On the way to the check out a rather loud fight ensued about whether it was hot outside or not.  Seriously, is that worth fighting over?  So, being the excellent (or at my wits end) mom that I am, I yelled at them, "STOP YELLING AT EACH OTHER IN THE STORE."  No less than 30 people (ok, maybe 5 people) turned to stare and the big one burst out laughing, "Mom, you just yelled at them to stop yelling..HAHAHAHA!" Thanks for pointing that out buddy, appreciate ya. ;)  Once we finally arrived at the checkout I asked the young girl working if she made good money working at the sporting good store, would she maybe want to babysit all summer for 3 boys instead?  She glanced at me, checked all three of them out and then gave me a look that said, sorry but there is not enough money in the world for that mess.  With all the sympathy a 16 yr old could muster she said, "Sorry, but I think I'm good here."  Smart girl. ;)  

I'm off to game 5 of the week, apparently baseball doesn't "break" either. ;) When I get back I'll be popping the cork on a bottle of Royal Bitch merlot.  I searched long and hard for a bottle of Whiny Haggard Bitch wine but no one has bottled that one yet.  I guess my inspiration hasn't reached any wineries just yet. ;)  


todd carr said... your choice in wine.

I remember my mom flipping out when we were young...she said she was sick of hearing the word mom and to start calling her Betty, a cool girl she remembered from High School.

might be a 2 btl night for yah

Anonymous said...

Shoe shopping with my kids is my pet hate. It's just stressful and annoying even at the best of times. Enjoy the merlot. You deserve it xxx

Cheers! said...

Todd...I think I love your mom. I'm stealing her idea. I'm going to make the boys call me Ruth. That was my grandma's name...she was a feisty little lady! Yes...Ruth it is!! Best part about that is you know I'll only answer to Ruth about 1/4 of the time! :)

boomerang jane said...

Haha. Sounds like lots of entertaining stories will be blogged about over the next few months. You might have to start drinking wine out of a Big Gulp cup at the baseball I think :-)