When we started baseball season it was so cold outside I thought I might actually freeze my arse off. Fast forward a few months; we are still playing baseball and it is now so hot I feel like I might be sweating my arse off. So which is it? Do you sweat or freeze your arse off? At the moment I'm hoping it's sweat, because it's about 105 degrees everyday for some unknown reason and just sitting at the ballpark leaves me in a puddle. The other day I actually wore a tube top and short shorts to the ball park...classy, I know. I'm going for a new look, it's called classy trashy. It might include a bikini top and some cut off jean shorts if this little league season doesn't wrap up soon. And believe me when I say...no one wants to see that. ;) Since school has been out I've been on a steady diet of chicken fingers, mac & cheese and chunky peanut butter. There's also been a few more trips through the local drive thru than usual. When all the exercise you get is watching baseball and driving thru the local fast food joint, things are going to head downhill in a hurry. My right bicep is the only muscle in my body looking good, thanks to the cork screw. If I go to all screw top wines, I'm toast! (not toasted....well maybe both;)
Last night the middle had his last regular season game. I'm not sure if it was the heat or because it was the last of what feels like about a zillion games, but I was feeling a little feisty. At one point I told the big kid that I was going to try and get thrown out of the ballpark. Now, you have to know that normally the loudest I ever get at a little league game is a big CLAP or a well placed positive comment. I'm seriously cracking myself up at the scene I could make if I started yelling crazy stuff out. I told the big kid I was going to yell, "Sniff my pickle" to the ump. And then follow that up with, "Oh wait, I don't have a pickle, sniff his pickle." The look on his face was priceless, it was a mix between horror and humor. (If your not sure why that is especially funny check out my post from May 31st....careful, cuz it's a little naughty.) As much as these three shock the heck out of me, sometimes it's nice to shock one of them for a change. ;) In the end I didn't yell anything more obscene than, "Good hustle chill!" I'm a real rebel. ;)
The wine of the day is Skinny Girl margaritas. Yep, that's right, that isn't a wine. But it sure is a yummy margarita in a super cute bottle! The way this summer is going I'm going to be in the Betty Ford by the end of August, I'm hoping the Skinny Girl will keep me out of the fat camp. ;) Don't you just love all my weight loss plans that don't include the gym? :))
The W(h)ine Hour..
Every household has one…the whine hour. It’s those bewitching hours between approximately 5 and 8pm in the evening when the kids go crazy and moms across the world lose their minds completely. It doesn’t matter if you have babies, toddlers, kids, tweens, or teens; those hours of dinner/homework/bath time/ bedtime can just about do a momma in. What is a girl to do? It’s simple and brilliant actually, just slip in a little wine of your own! Now, I’m not suggesting anyone down a bottle of whiskey everyday between the hours of 5 and 8, in fact if you do that you will have a few whine hours of your own the next morning. Basically, a little wine during the whine hours will keep you out of the padded cell at the local cookoo house where people will walk by and peek in your little window and say things like “aww, poor mom has lost her marbles” and “hmmm, now that’s a crazy one right there, sits in there all day and hits herself over the head with a Barbie and a hotwheel”. Don’t smirk, it can happen.
So, enjoy the tales of my whine hour, and how I survive each and everyone of one of them with a sense of humor and a good bottle of wine! After all, the whine hour comes around every single day, a girl has to be prepared!